• Nose Picking

    Nose Picking
    As Joe was trying to pack for vacation, his 3-year-old daughter was having a great time playing on the bed.

    At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

    Trying to keep her entertained, he reached out and stuck her fingers in his mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before he rushed out of the room again.

    When Joe returned, his daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face and tears streaming down her face...

    Joe said, "What's wrong honey?"

    Dejected, sad and broken, she looked up at him and said, "Daddy, where's my booger?
  • Religious Johhny

    Religious Johhny
    Little Johnny's dad was a farmer in a poor district of the country. One day his Uncle Andy came to visit. Since there were limited accommodations, he was required to sleep with his young nephew, Little Johnny.

    When Uncle Andy came into the bedroom, he saw the Little Johnny Kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed.

    Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed.

    Little Johnny looked up and said, "What are you doing?"

    "Why, the same thing you're doing", replied Uncle Andy.

    "Mom is going to be mad", said Little Johnny.

    "Why will she be mad?" asked Uncle Andy.

    "Because the bed pan's on this side!"
  • Witness Stand

    Witness Stand
    A boy who was a witness to a crime was on the witness stand in court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say in court?"

    "Yes Sir", answered the boy.

    "I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?"

    "My father, sir."

    "And what did he tell you?" the attorney asked accusingly.

    "He said that the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but if I stuck to the truth, everything would be all right."
  • Xmas Shopping

    Christmas was coming near and it was time for Little Johnny to finish his holiday shopping. He went into a toy shop, took a toy plane, gave the shopkeeper fake money and started to leave.

    The shopkeeper spoke up, "Excuse me little boy, this isn't real money."

    Little Johnny didn't reply and continued walking.

    The shopkeeper repeated himself, but Johnny kept walking.

    The third time the shopkeeper called him, Johnny replied, "What?"

    The shopkeeper said, "I'm sorry, young man, but this is not real money."

    Johnny looked at the plane in his hands, looked at the shopkeeper and finally said, "And this isn't a real plane."