|5 minutes ago you were travelling to office at 80 mph. in your brand new car. Now you are travelling to hospital at double the speed in an ambulance. You wish there was UNDO in life! |
You are already late, and your key is missing. You wish there was FIND TOOL in life!
You are a bankrupt, after investing in some weird business. You wish there was REBUILD ALL in life!
The train is so crowded that you cannot get anywhere near that nice girl at the other end. You wish there was ZOOM & VIEW FULL SCREEN in life! IF NOT FOR "Replace"!
One day you realize that you are turning bald. You wish there was CUT & PASTE in life!
After marriage you realize that there is bound to be a mismatch. You wish there was an EVALUATION PERIOD or at least a sample down load or a DEMO version !
|Husband is a Software Professional!!|
Husband : Good evening dear, I am now logged in.
Wife : Have you brought the ring?
Husband : Bad command or File name.
Wife : But I told in the mornin.......
Husband : Erroneous Syntax, Abort?
Wife : What about your salary?
Husband : File in use.
Wife : What about my new saree?
Husband : Variable not found.
Wife : At least give me your credit card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband : Sharing Violation, Access Denied.
Wife : Do you love me or do you only like computers or are you just being funny?
Husband : Too many parameters.
Wife : It was a great mistake that I married a stupid guy like you.
Husband : Data type mismatch.
Wife : You are a useless nut.
Husband : It is by default.
Wife : By the way who was in the car this morning ?
Husband : System is unstable. Press CTRL+ALT+DEL to reboot.
|PCMCIA - People Can`t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms |
ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
SCSI - System Can`t See It
DOS - Defective Operating System
BASIC - Bill`s Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
DEC - Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW - World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
RISC - Reduced Into Silly Code"
|The following is the conversation between Lallo Prasad Yadav and Bill Gates.|
Gates : Hi! you must have heard of Windows.
Lallo : Oh yes! In most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.
Gates : At home have u installed Windows?
Lallo : I have removed all windows due to increased burglaries in our house.
Gates (Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
Lallo : OPERATION ? Yes I had a Hernia operation last month.
Gates (Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Lallo : Oh Yes! Due to increased mosquito problems many people are sleeping under the net.
Gates : By the year 2000 India should export computer chips.
Lallo : We are already exporting Uncle Chips.
Gates (Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Lallo : My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.
Gates (Heavily Sweating): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Lallo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P..
Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Lallo : I have exhuasted all my leave.
Gates : I have no energy left let us go out and have a bite.
Lallo : BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.
Gates : (System Crashes and Found Missing). "Windows is restarting.Please wait............."