• SBI Destroys Ransomware

    WannaCry Ransomware virus tried to enter into computer system of SBI.

    It could not succeed as someone told it: Abhi Hamara Lunch Time Hai... Lunch Break Ke Baad Aana.

    Ransomware Lunch Break Ke Baad Aata Hai Aur Ek Aur Try Marne Ke Lye Ek Lambi Line Mein Lag Jaata Hai. Jab Uska Number Aata Hai Toh Usko Kaha Jaata Hai: Yahan Nahin, Counter Number 15 Jo Madam Baithi Hain Pehle Unke Paas Jao.

    Bechara Ransomware Counter 15 Ki Line Mein Lag Jata Hai. Is Baar Bhi Kaafi Der Ke Baad Jab Uska Number Aata Hai Tab Madam Us Se Kehti Hai: Ye Kya Hai... Pehli Baar Bank Aaye Ho??? Peeche Account Number Aur Mobile Number Kaun Likhega???

    Finally Jab Vo 4th Time Koshish Karta Hai Tab Usko Bola Jaata Hai: Aaj Time Khatam... Ab Kal Aana.
  • Apple vs Windows

    Beat this one..!! Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store in NY:
    "Don't ever fart here;
    the smell will stay for ages.
    We don't have Windows!"

    And Tit for Tat from Microsoft in their premises...
    "Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday's half eaten apple. We have been providing open window systems to the world since ages."
  • Internet Genesis

    In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy (Dot for short). Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

    And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

    And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

    And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

    Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

    To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to The People (HTTP).

    And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

    And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

    And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

    "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

    Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

    It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

    That is how it all began. And that's the truth. I would not make up this stuff.
  • Be an IT Professional

    Husband - Hey dear, I am logged in.
    Wife - Would you like to have some snacks?
    Husband - Hard disk full.

    Wife - Have you brought the saree.
    Husband - Bad command or file name.
    Wife - But I told you about it in morning.
    Husband - Erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

    Wife - Hey Bagwan! Forget it where's your salary.
    Husband - File in use, read only, try after some time.

    Wife - At least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
    Husband - Sharing violation, access denied.

    Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
    husband - Data type mismatch.

    Wife - You are useless.
    Husband - By default.

    Wife - By the way, who was there with you in the car this morning?
    Husband - System unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

    Wife - What is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
    Husband - The only user with write permission.

    Wife - What is my value in your life?
    Husband - Unknown virus detected.

    Wife - Do you love me or your computer?
    Husband - Too many parameters.

    Wife - I will go to my Dadu's house.
    Husband - Program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

    Wife - I will leave you forever.
    Husband - Close all programs and log out for another User.

    Wife - It is worthless talking to you.
    Husband - Shut down the computer.
    Wife - I am going.
    Husband - It's now safe to turn off your computer.