• Sterile Father

    Sterile Father
    A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl.

    The head nurse brought them out for their father to see.

    He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.

    He took one step forward just so he could touch the babies and believe they had finally arrived.

    As he started to touch them the nurse took a step backwards and said, "You can't touch those babies. You aren't sterile!"

    With out missing a beat, he retorted "You're telling ME I'm not sterile?!"
  • Medical Opinions

    Medical Opinions
    Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.

    One of the students said to his friend, "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome - those people walk just like that,"

    The other student says, "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome, he walks just like we learned in class."

    Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached the old man and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't ignore the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

    The old man said, "I'll tell you but first you'll tell me what you think?"

    Then one of the students said, "I think it's Petry Syndrome."

    And the old man said, "You thought, but you're wrong."

    Then the other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."

    And the old man said, "You thought, but you're wrong."

    So they asked him, "So what do you have?"

    And the old man said, "I thought I needed to fart. I thought, but I was wrong."
  • Night-Call

    A Doctor gets taken short up in the middle of the night and finds his toilet is completely blocked.

    He says to his wife, "I'm going to have to call a plumber."

    The wife replies, "You can't call a plumber out at three in the morning!"

    He says, "Of course I can! I have to go out on night-time calls if a patient needs me."

    Anyway, he rings a plumber, who complains bitterly about having to come out in the middle of the night.

    The Doctor says the same thing, "I have to come out on late-night calls to see patients, why shouldn't you?"

    At about 3.30AM the plumber arrives, very bleary-eyed, and the Doctor shows him to the blocked toilet.

    The plumber drops two tablets down the pan and says to the Doctor, "If there's no change, call me in the morning!"
  • Smart Doctor

    A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.

    "I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."

    The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!"

    Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."