• Passing Too Much Gas

    A Ballerina goes to the doctor, "Doc I am having terrible trouble with the most awful wind. Every time I pirouette I fart," she cries.

    "Hmmm," says the Doctor, "I'd like to see that if possible."

    The ballerina get up, pirouettes and Phrrrt... farts loudly.

    "That's amazing, do it again."

    Again the pirouette is accompanied by a loud fart.

    "Hmmm," says the Doctor. "I think I may be able to help." He bends down and picks up a long pole with a curious hook on the end.

    The ballerina jumps back in alarm, "What are you going to do with that?"

    "Open the window, it stinks in here."
  • Revenge of the Nurse

    A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the policeman kept feeling something pulling at his pubic hair.

    Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all.

    Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, "Get well soon from the nurse in the Landrover you booked for speeding last week."
  • Second Appendix?

    Doctors are used to getting calls at any hour. One night a man phoned his doctor, waking him up.

    "I'm really sorry to bother you so late," he said, "but I think my wife has appendicitis."

    Still half asleep, the doctor reminded him that he had removed hs wife's inflamed appendix a couple of years before.

    "Whoever heard of a second appendix?" the doctor asked.

    "You may not have heard of a second appendix, doc," the man replied, "but surely you've heard of a second wife!"
  • Being Obese

    A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.

    As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go."

    The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad."

    "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.

    The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, `Of course. Now just open your mouth and say, "Moo!"