|Old man Murray goes to the doctor with a very worried look on his
"Doctor," he says, "You`ve got to help me. Do you remember those voices in my head I always complain about?"
"Yes," the doctor replies.
"Well they`ve suddenly gone away," Murray says.
"So what`s the problem?"
"I think I`m going deaf."
|A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.|
Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post operation shock, spoke to the young surgeon in training about it.
"Don`t worry about a thing, nurse," the young doctor assured her. "He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."
|Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I ve got a trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there`s somebody under it. I get under the bed; I think there`s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under, you got to help me, I`m going crazy!" |
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I`ll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
"I`ll sleep on it," said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street.
"Why didn`t you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred buck`s a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."
"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
|Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"|
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They Augustht us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."
"That is great! And what was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but could not remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that`s it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"