• Broken legs...

    At the hospital, there was a man laying in the emergency room, the doctor opened the door and walked toward the man.
    Man said, `Will I be ok, Doctor?"
    The doctor turned to him and said, "Well there is good and bad news."
    "Tell me the bad news", said the man.
    "Well," said the doctor, "the bad news is that we are going to cut both your legs off."
    "Oh my god," said the man, "What the hell is the good news?"
    "The good news is," said the doctor, "see that man over there, he wants to buy your shoes."
  • Emergency!

    A girl was too vain to wear glasses, but she always managed to conceal completely the fact that she was very, very shortsighted. In due course she got married and went off with her husband on their honeymoon. When she got back her mother shrieked and ran to the telephone. She called on oculist.
    "Doctor, come over here right away! It`s an emergency. My daughter has always refused to wear glasses and now she`s back from her honeymoon and -"
    The doctor interrupted her, "Madam, please calm yourself! Ask your daughter to come to see me. No matter how bad her eyes are, it can`t be that much of an emergency."
    "Oh no?" screamed the mother. "Well this fellow she`s got with her isn`t the one she went on honeymoon with."
  • Emergency Call

    "Hurry!" the doctor commanded his teenage daughter, "Put my stethoscope and medicine box in my car. That was an emergency call from someone who says he will die if I do not turn up immediately."
    "Papa, that call was not for you but for me," replied the girl saucily.
  • Pneumonia ...

    A patient suffering from a nasty cold visited Dr. D Costa and said groaning, "Doctor, can you cure my terrible cold? It has made things hell for me for the last four or five days."
    Having never read about any confirmed cure for common cold, the young, over-zealous doctor advised after much initial hesitation, "You may do one thing. Take a hot bath and stand beneath a fan."
    "Stand beneath a fan!" perplexed by the strange instruction, the patient asked, "Will your method cure me, doctor?"
    "I can’t say so for sure," replied Dr. D Costa, with his spectacles resting on his nose, "but if you do as directed, you are certain to get pneumonia which I can cure for sure!"