• Bizarre Automobile Insurance Claims

    The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.

    I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

    I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.

    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

    Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

    I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

    As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.

    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
  • Corporate Recruiting

    Agency: Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their placements, sir?

    MD: Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:

    1. If they are counting the bricks, put them in Accounts department.

    2. If they are recounting the bricks, put them in Auditing.

    3. If they messed up the whole room with the bricks, put them in Engineering.

    4. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.

    5. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations

    6. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.

    7. If they broke the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.

    8. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.

    9. If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, put them in Sales.

    10. If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.

    11. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning. And...

    12. If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
  • Speed Camera

    A man drove past a traffic camera and saw it flash. He couldn't believe he had been caught speeding when he was driving below the speed limit for once!

    He turned around and drove past again, this time even slower. But as he passed the camera, it flashed again. He was angry!

    He turned around again and this time drove past at a snail's pace. But again, the camera flashed.

    "Oh, well," he thought. "It must be broken." and drove home. A week later, he received three tickets in the mail for not wearing his seatbelt!
  • That's Chutzpah!

    Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca Raton. She was seeking a qualified person to fill the recently vacant position of salesperson.

    Sarah, an outspoken older woman, comes in to interview for the position. Becky looks at Sarah's resume and notices that Sarah has never worked in jewelry before.

    "If you don't mind my saying so, for someone who has never worked in jewelry you certainly are asking a pretty high salary. That's chutzpah, wouldn't you say?!?" asks Becky.

    Sarah thinks for a moment. "Well, I suppose I am," replies Sarah, "but you must understand, the work is so much harder when you don't know what you are doing."