• Peach Spirit

    A minister of a church loved peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed as he unwrapped the homemade brandy. However, his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.

    So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment.

    The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
  • The Drunk Hitchhiker

    A guy was hitchhiking on a very dark and stormy night. The night was getting on and no cars went by. Suddenly he saw a car roll slowly toward him and stop. Without thinking about it, the guy jumped into the back seat and closed the door when he suddenly realized there was nobody behind the wheel! Just then the car started slowly rolling forward again. He was beginning to get really freaked out when he noticed a curve in the road ahead. He was just thinking about climbing into the front seat when a hand mysteriously appeared through the window and moved the wheel.

    The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time right before a curve.

    Gathering his courage, the guy finally jumped out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he went to a restaurant and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went through.

    About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same restaurant. They were looking around for a table when one said to the other, "Hey, look, isn't that the jerk who got in the car when we were pushing it?"
  • Lie Clocks

    A woman dies. In heaven she sees a large Wall full of Clocks.

    She asks angel: What are these for?

    Angel answers: These are Lie Clocks, every person has a lie clock! Whenever you lie on earth, clock moves.

    The woman points towards a clock and asks: Whose clock is this?

    Angel says: It's Yudhishtir's clock. It never moved, showing that he never told lie.

    The woman asks: Where are the clocks of Married men?

    The angel replies: Those are in our office, We use them as 'OFFICE FANS'

    She then asked, what about the Married women?

    The angel replied: Those are kept out... they are 'Generating electricity'!!!
  • Disturbance in Barroom

    A police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance.

    The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the officer and the "Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World."

    Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist too, probably better than Houdini."

    The giant nodded.

    "If I had some chains," the officer continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?"

    Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes.

    "I can't get out of these," the giant growled.

    "Are you sure?" the officer asked.

    The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it."
    "In that case," said the officer, "you're under arrest."