• Never End a Sentence in a Preposition

    A girl from North Carolina and a girl from California sat side by side on an airplane.

    The girl from North Carolina, being friendly and all, said, "So, where ya from?"

    The California girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."

    The girl from North Carolina sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, "So, where ya from, bitch?"
  • What Nonsense

    A manager has to take on some sport by his doctor so he decides to play tennis.

    After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing.

    "It's going fine," the manager says, "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says: To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!"

    "Really? What happens then?" the girl asks enthusiastic.

    "Then my body says: Who? Me? Don't talk nonsense!"
  • Watch Her Expressions

    I'm so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those payments!

    So I called my baby girl, Kareesha, to come over to my house, and when she got there, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your mother's house and tell her that this is the last check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the expression that's on her face."

    So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was really anxious to hear what she had to say and what she looked like.

    As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?"

    "She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy, and to watch the expression on your face.
  • Mock Drill

    A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "guinea pigs" in a test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared for by the emergency units.

    One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout lay `wounded` for several hours.