• Childhood Sweethearts

    An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood.

    To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the desk they shared & where he had carved "I love you, Sally".

    On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armoured car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, & they don't know what to do with it so they take it home. There, she counts the money, & its fifty-thousand dollars.

    The husband says, "We've got to give it back."

    She says, "Finders keepers" & puts the money back in the bag & hides it up in their attic.

    The next day, two policemen are going from door-to-door in the neighbourhood looking for the money show up at their home.

    One knocks on the door & says, "Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?"

    She says, "No!"

    The husband says: "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."

    She says, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."
  • Help Yourself

    This morning I was having bread butter in breakfast. Wanted some green chutney for extra taste.

    But thought of Modiji's advice and didn't ask my wife for it.

    I got up myself, went to the kitchen, brought it on my own from the refrigerator, applied it on bread and had it.

    Though the taste of chutney was different but had a great patriotic feeling of AATMNIRBHARTA.

    After few minutes my wife came and asked me, "Have you seen a bowl of Mehandi I kept in the refrigerator last night ?"
  • The Forgetful Husband

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary.

    He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, Your loving husband.

    His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until next year, on their anniversary, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"
  • What's Cooking?

    Bernie had a fight with Rachel, his wife, and went to the movies to cool off.

    Later that evening, he decided to phone home to see what the situation was and maybe even apologize.

    "Hello, darling," he said, "what are you making for dinner?"

    "What am I making for dinner? After all the horrible things you said to me earlier, you want to know what I am making for dinner?? Poison, that's what I'm making, poison."

    Bernie replies, "Okay then, just make one portion, I'm not coming home."