• Give the money !

    Late one night in Washington, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
    "Give me your money!" he demanded.
    Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this. I’m a United States Congressman!"
    "In that case," replied the robber, "give me my money!"
  • Cuts both ways!

    A Politician was arrested for accepting a bribe from a contractor. A friend who went to visit him in the lock-up asked, "How are you going to get out of this mess?"
    The Politician replied calmly, "I got into trouble for accepting a bribe; I`ll get out of it by bribing the person concerned."
  • Truer Words were never spoken !

    Dear Abby, I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?
    "Dear Sam, Yes. Run for public office," suggested Abby.
  • Quick thought !

    If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him and getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph.
    What shutter speed would you use?