|A young scholar from New York was invited to become Rabbi in a small old community in Chicago. On his very first Shabbat, a hot debate erupted as to whether one should or should not stand during the reading of the Ten Commandments.|
The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the nursing home. `Mr. Katz, I'm asking you as the oldest member of the community"` said the rabbi, "what is our synagogue's custom during the reading of the Ten Commandments?"
"Why do you ask?" asked Mr. Katz.
"Yesterday we read the Ten Commandments. Some people stood, some people sat. The ones standing started screaming at the ones sitting, telling them to stand up. The ones sitting started screaming at the ones standing, telling them to sit down..." "That," said the old man, "is our custom."
|During Sermon on a Sunday service, the Pastor said, "If I had all the Beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."|
And the congregation cried, "Amen! "
"And if I had all the Wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river."
And the congregation cried: "Amen!"
"And if I had all the Whiskey and Rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river."
Again the congregation cried, "Amen!..."
The Pastor sat down.
The Junior Pastor then stood up and said, "For our closing Hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our Hymn books and sing, "We shall drink from the river."
The whole Congregation SCREAMED *HALLELUJAH!*
|"Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher said.|
Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
Leroy replies, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."
The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue streak for Leroy; the whole congregation joined in with enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"
Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't 'til next Wednesday."
|The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"|
The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.
The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"
The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."