• Changing A Flat Tire

    A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and pulled over to see whether he could help.

    The man had a very red face, and a dark smear across it where he'd wiped off sweat with dirty hands. His tie was undone and his shirt collar askew, and it was clear he had also wiped his hands on his once-white shirt.

    Close to him stood an immaculately neat woman who was speaking in quick, agitated tones.

    "Hello, there," said the motorist. "Say, I've changed a lot of tires..... maybe I can help here."

    "You sure can," the man with the flat tire replied wearily. "My wife is an expert, too. If you will just do all the arguing with her about how this tire ought to be changed, I will concentrate on the dirty work and get the job done."
  • Trouble's Coming

    A man sits down on a bar stool and tells the bartender, "Pour me a drink before the trouble starts."

    The bartender looks puzzled, but pours him a drink.

    The man chugs it and says, "Pour me another drink before the trouble starts."

    The bartender does and the man downs it as quickly as the first.

    After a few more rounds, the bartender says, "Look, pal: you've had five drinks and all you talk about is 'some trouble starting.' Just when is this trouble supposed to start?"

    The man replies, "Just as soon as you discover I don't have the money to pay you for these drinks!
  • Ordinary Thief vs Political Thief

    What is the difference between an Ordinary Thief (OT) and a Political Thief (PT)?

    1. The Ordinary Thief steals your money, bag, watch, gold chain etc. But, The Political Thief steals your future, career, education, health and business!

    2. The hilarious part is:
    The Ordinary Thief will choose whom to rob. But, you yourself choose the Political Thief to rob you.

    3. The most ironic one:
    Police will chase and nab the Ordinary Thief. But, Police will look after and protect the Political Thief!

    That's the travesty and irony of our current society! And, we blindly say we are not blind!

    4. The stupid part of the whole issue is that we insult and fight the Ordinary Thief but we Fight each other for the Political Thief.
  • Collateral Security

    The other day I accompanied my wife when she went to the parlor for a haircut.

    Reading a magazine in the reception area, I found an interesting article. I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a photocopy.

    "Leave some ID, a driver's license or a credit card," she said.

    "But my Wife is here getting a haircut," I explained.

    "Yes, I know," she replied. "But I need something you'll come back for."