• My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down.<br/>
Told her it's because I can't stand doing it!
    My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down.
    Told her it's because I can't stand doing it!
  • Did you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen?<br/>
They break out in hives!
    Did you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen?
    They break out in hives!
  • I was walking past a farm and a sign said `Duck, eggs`<br/>
I thought: `That's an unnecessary comma` and then it hit me!
    I was walking past a farm and a sign said "Duck, eggs"
    I thought: "That's an unnecessary comma" and then it hit me!
  • The salesman at the furniture store told me, `This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.`<br/>
I said, `Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?`
    The salesman at the furniture store told me, `This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.`
    I said, `Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?`
  • Google Khoje,<br/>
Yahoo Khoje,<br/>
Aur Khoje Bing...<br/>
Kahat Kabira Sun Bhai Sadho, You Gotta Search Within!
    Google Khoje,
    Yahoo Khoje,
    Aur Khoje Bing...
    Kahat Kabira Sun Bhai Sadho, You Gotta Search Within!
  • Make today so awesome yesterday gets jealous!<br/>
Good Morning!
    Make today so awesome yesterday gets jealous!
    Good Morning!
  • Whoever said `your harshest critic is yourself` obviously wasn't married!
    Whoever said "your harshest critic is yourself" obviously wasn't married!
  • I'm a perfectionist when it comes to making my wife angry!
    I'm a perfectionist when it comes to making my wife angry!
  • Rainy days are so good. You can open all the windows and drink a cold beer in your underwear.<br/>
Not sure why my Uber driver is threatening to call the cops!
    Rainy days are so good. You can open all the windows and drink a cold beer in your underwear.
    Not sure why my Uber driver is threatening to call the cops!
  • My wife is very simple and has only two permanent problems:<br/><br/>

1. Nothing to wear<br/>
2. No place to keep all her clothes
    My wife is very simple and has only two permanent problems:

    1. Nothing to wear
    2. No place to keep all her clothes