• Two men walk into a bar.</br>
One man orders H2O. The other says, `I'll have H2O too.`</br>
The second man dies!
    Two men walk into a bar.
    One man orders H2O. The other says, "I'll have H2O too."
    The second man dies!
  • Pro Tip:</br>
Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!
    Pro Tip:
    Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!
  • What type of haircut does Steven Spielberg get?</br>
The director's cut!
    What type of haircut does Steven Spielberg get?
    The director's cut!
  • I always take my problems to Tommy.</br>
Hilfiger something out!
    I always take my problems to Tommy.
    Hilfiger something out!
  • My son asked me, `What does deja vu mean?`</br>
I said, `I have a feeling you asked me this before!`
    My son asked me, "What does deja vu mean?"
    I said, "I have a feeling you asked me this before!"
  • One way to find out if you are old is to fall down in front of a lot of people.</br>
If they laugh, you are still young. If they panic and start running towards you, you are old!
    One way to find out if you are old is to fall down in front of a lot of people.
    If they laugh, you are still young. If they panic and start running towards you, you are old!
  • Those who judge will never understand and those who understand will never judge!
    Those who judge will never understand and those who understand will never judge!
  • The seven wonders of the world.</br>
To see, to hear, to touch, to taste, to feel, to laugh, and to love.</br>
Good Morning!
    The seven wonders of the world.
    To see, to hear, to touch, to taste, to feel, to laugh, and to love.
    Good Morning!
  • Life of a husband:</br></br>

Get married</br>
Apologize for everything.</br>
Die!
    Life of a husband:

    Get married
    Apologize for everything.
    Die!
  • I told my wife to treat me exactly how she wants me to treat her.
So she stopped talking to me!
    I told my wife to treat me exactly how she wants me to treat her. So she stopped talking to me!