In alcohol's defense I have done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too! |
It was so windy when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine shop! |
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already! |
Utna Hi Lena Glass Mein, Ki Gharwale Na Nikle Tumhari Talaash Mein! Happy Holi! |
Bhakt: Baba, Vishwas Aur Andh Vishwas Mein Kya Farak Hai? Baba: Jisne Daaru Di Woh Namkeen Bhi Dega, Yeh Hai Vishwas. Lekin Jisne Namkeen Diya Woh Daaru Bhi Dega, Yeh Hai Andh Vishwas! |
There are five types of alcoholics: 1) Who suffer from memory loss, after drinking. 2) ... sorry I forgot! |
The wife saw the fridge, full of Kingfisher beer bottles, kept by her husband. She asked: "What is this for?" Husband's humble answer: "I'm doing what the banks and the govt, could not do... freezing the properties of Vijay Mallya! After freezing I will also liquidate these assets. |
My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist! |
Two men walk into a bar. One man orders H2O. The other says, "I'll have H2O too." The second man dies! |
For years and years, I have been incorrectly hearing this advertisement for cough and cold... . . . . . Whiskey Goli Lo! |