|A boss forwarded an email to his secretary and asked her to inquire whether it is from his lawyer or tailor. The email reads:|
SUIT IS READY, TRIAL ON MONDAY!v
|Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?|
Because deep down they're really good people!
|Dance like no one is watching but text and email... like it will be read in court some day.|
~ Your Lawyer
|What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?|
Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points!
|Signage at Divorce Lawyer's chamber:|
Results guaranteed or your Honey back!
|What is a contingent fee?|
A contingent fee means, if the lawyer doesn't win your suit, he gets nothing. If the lawyer does win it, you get nothing!
|What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?|
|The first time in the legal history, not only the plaintiff but defendant and even a judge has to come to court with 'clean hands'!|
|How does a lawyer sleep?|
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other!
|Once a Judge hired a cab and told the driver to take him to the "Courts of Justice."|
"Where are they?" asked the driver.
"You mean you don't know where the law courts are?" asked the judge incredulously.
"Oh! The law courts," replied the driver. "You said, the Courts of Justice!"