|Husband: You don't have a sense of humour.|
Wife: That's not true. I married you right, that means I can take a joke!
|Husbands and fish are alike. They both get into trouble when they open their mouth!|
|I asked a friend who got married for the second time, how is it?|
He replied, "Same virus, different mutation!"
|A husband and wife were sitting in a restaurant. A young, attractive waitress gets flirty with the husband and he looks BOASTFULLY at his wife.|
Wife (Smirks): Don't get carried away honey. She has COVID.
Husband (Taken aback): How do you know?
Wife (Smiles): Can't you see? She has no taste!
|My wife and I share the same interest. I want to travel and she wants to me go away!|
|Doctor: So how's your diet and exercise going?|
Man: Pretty well I should say. Yesterday I had a juice cleanse and went for a brisk walk.
Wife: Yesterday you had an entire bottle of wine and then fell down the stairs!
|A Coded Message:|
SOMEtimes I make jokes at my wife's expense, but hONEstly she is a very patient, smart, funny and HELPful woman. And I am very lucky to have her in my life. She makes ME a better man!
|There are 3 types of people in this world.|
People who are unable to hear.
People who don't want to hear.
And then there are husbands who always hear but never listen!
|I told my wife that she always blames me for everything.|
It's because of your behavior, she said!
|Marriage looks so easy and attractive until you get married!|