• My wife used to have an hour- glass figure, but the sand shifted.
    My wife used to have an hour- glass figure, but the sand shifted.
  • When life gives you bullshit, package it and sell manure.
    When life gives you bullshit, package it and sell manure.
  • Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
    Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
  • God must love stupid people. He made so many of them!
    God must love stupid people. He made so many of them!
  • Character is defined by what you drink. Reputation is defined by how much you drink.
    Character is defined by what you drink. Reputation is defined by how much you drink.
  • If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.
    If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.
  • Always use tasteful words - you may have to eat them.
    Always use tasteful words - you may have to eat them.
  • A beer in the hand is worth two in the fridge.
    A beer in the hand is worth two in the fridge.
  • Rehab is for quitters.
    Rehab is for quitters.
  • Love at first site - Romance on the internet!
    Love at first site - Romance on the internet!