|My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down.|
Told her it's because I can't stand doing it!
|Did you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen?|
They break out in hives!
|I was walking past a farm and a sign said "Duck, eggs"|
I thought: "That's an unnecessary comma" and then it hit me!
|The salesman at the furniture store told me, `This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.`|
I said, `Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?`
Aur Khoje Bing...
Kahat Kabira Sun Bhai Sadho, You Gotta Search Within!
|Make today so awesome yesterday gets jealous!|
|Whoever said "your harshest critic is yourself" obviously wasn't married!|
|I'm a perfectionist when it comes to making my wife angry!|
|Rainy days are so good. You can open all the windows and drink a cold beer in your underwear.|
Not sure why my Uber driver is threatening to call the cops!
|My wife is very simple and has only two permanent problems:|
1. Nothing to wear
2. No place to keep all her clothes