• Teacher: Translate this sentence into Hindi `Liza please have a seat`.<br/>
Student: Elizabeth!
    Teacher: Translate this sentence into Hindi "Liza please have a seat".
    Student: Elizabeth!
  • I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.<br/>
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster!
    I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.
    My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster!
  • When I can't fall asleep, I like to grab a good book and hit myself over the head with it!
    When I can't fall asleep, I like to grab a good book and hit myself over the head with it!
  • On my last birthday, my wife tried to surprise me with a car.<br/>
Fortunately I had quick reflexes and she couldn't hit me!
    On my last birthday, my wife tried to surprise me with a car.
    Fortunately I had quick reflexes and she couldn't hit me!
  • Stop taking Facebook so seriously.<br/>
Most of your likes are coming from the people sitting on the toilet!
    Stop taking Facebook so seriously.
    Most of your likes are coming from the people sitting on the toilet!
  • Why does nobody talk to circles?<br/>
Because there is no point!
    Why does nobody talk to circles?
    Because there is no point!
  • Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust but not the slap of a newspaper.<br/>
That shows how toxic media is!
    Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust but not the slap of a newspaper.
    That shows how toxic media is!
  • Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but they tell us that dragons can be beaten!
    Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but they tell us that dragons can be beaten!
  • Wouldn't it be easier for everyone if we all agreed that wrinkled clothes are OK!
    Wouldn't it be easier for everyone if we all agreed that wrinkled clothes are OK!
  • Banks have now fitted these little mirrors on the ATMs. Now I get to see what having insufficient funds looks like on my face!
    Banks have now fitted these little mirrors on the ATMs. Now I get to see what having insufficient funds looks like on my face!