|Received this message from my bank:|
If you wish to use the money in your account... stay at home.
If you wish that your nominee uses it.... keep roaming out!
|2019 - Stay away from negative people.|
2020 - Stay away from positive people!
|Before Coronavirus I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough!|
|My friend keeps saying "cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water!"|
I know he means well!
|Remembering those days, when I used to "stand near the bar with a scotch in my hand".|
Now, "standing near Vim bar with a Scotch Brite in my hand"!
|Where do you find the most well-behaved Indians?|
In the US visa interview queue!
|Since we've been on lockdown I've developed a taste for fabric conditioner.|
My doctor says I'm fine, I've just been 'comfort' eating!
|Can someone tell me if I can have a bath & change underwear now or should I just keep washing my hands only as usual?|
|The amount of jokes about coronavirus virus has reached worrying numbers.|
Scientists claim we are in the middle of a pundemic!
|Son: Why is my sister's name Paris?|
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: No problem, Quarantine!