|Just realized that ocean scented products do not smell like the ocean!|
|Flu season is around. Remember to keep the alcohol level up because a shot in the glass is better than a shot in the a**!|
|It's officially "Do I have a cold because it's that time of the year or do I have coronavirus?" season!|
|My wife told me that if she ignores my looks, money, charm and success, then there's no real difference between me and George Clooney!|
|I just realized that 'In a pandemic?' is such a perfect excuse to get out of plans!|
|'A woman, without her man, is nothing.'|
'A woman: without her, man is nothing.'
Punctuation is powerful!
|"A legend is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."|
This was apparently not an acceptable response to my wife for coming home drunk at 3 am!
|Other Countries: My son is in a relationship.|
In India: Hamara Ladka Kisi Chudail Ke Chakkar Mein Phans Gaya Hai!
|I've been feeling dizzy most of the time and I was suspecting some neurological problems. I was surprised when my doctor told me that it's not any neurological issue that's causing the dizziness.|
It's the alcohol!
|What do you call a pig that does Karate?|