• Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is it true?<br/>
Husband: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers!
    Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is it true?
    Husband: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers!
  • When your wife says `I can't even tell you how upset I am with you right now`, just wait for 3 seconds.<br/>
And here we go!
    When your wife says "I can't even tell you how upset I am with you right now", just wait for 3 seconds.
    And here we go!
  • I think my wife is trying to speak to me in French since morning. She is uttering words like...<br/>
Chanel<br/>
Dior<br/>
Hermes<br/>
Louis Vuitton<br/>
Lanvin<br/><br/>

very difficult to understand!
    I think my wife is trying to speak to me in French since morning. She is uttering words like...
    Chanel
    Dior
    Hermes
    Louis Vuitton
    Lanvin

    very difficult to understand!
  • The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say, `Now you are Super Angry!`<br/><br/>

Maybe she'll laugh.<br/>
Maybe you'll die!
    The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say, "Now you are Super Angry!"

    Maybe she'll laugh.
    Maybe you'll die!
  • I blame all the marriage problems that I have on my wife, because of her poor choice in selecting a husband!
    I blame all the marriage problems that I have on my wife, because of her poor choice in selecting a husband!
  • I gave my wife some tips on how to wash the dishes better.<br/>
In other news, this Pril dish wash liquid is really starting to make my hands soft!
    I gave my wife some tips on how to wash the dishes better.
    In other news, this Pril dish wash liquid is really starting to make my hands soft!
  • I impress my wife by buying her dresses marked small and then by looking surprised when she says that it doesn't fit her!
    I impress my wife by buying her dresses marked small and then by looking surprised when she says that it doesn't fit her!
  • My wife pissed me off in my dream last night. When I told her about it, she said it was probably due to something I started.<br/>
Long story short, I had to apologize and buy her flowers!
    My wife pissed me off in my dream last night. When I told her about it, she said it was probably due to something I started.
    Long story short, I had to apologize and buy her flowers!
  • Husbands are like newborn babies.<br/>
They know that they're being scolded, but never understand why!
    Husbands are like newborn babies.
    They know that they're being scolded, but never understand why!
  • I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, but then it was too late!
    I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, but then it was too late!