• Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.</br>
Santa: It must be my 'weekend' immune system!
    Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.
    Santa: It must be my 'weekend' immune system!
  • 
Doctor: Who did this to you?</br>
Santa: Wife</br>
Doctor: Why?</br>
Santa: She complained that I don't lift even a finger to help her with housework.</br>
Doctor: Then?</br>
Santa: It seems I lifted the wrong finger!
    Doctor: Who did this to you?
    Santa: Wife
    Doctor: Why?
    Santa: She complained that I don't lift even a finger to help her with housework.
    Doctor: Then?
    Santa: It seems I lifted the wrong finger!
  • At a Police Station:</br>
Santa: I want to talk to the thief who broke into my house last night.</br>
Police Officer: Why do you want to talk to him?</br>
Santa: I just want to know how he got into my house without waking up my wife. I've been trying it for years!
    At a Police Station:
    Santa: I want to talk to the thief who broke into my house last night.
    Police Officer: Why do you want to talk to him?
    Santa: I just want to know how he got into my house without waking up my wife. I've been trying it for years!
  • Santa: Hey, this is not fair. You only call when you need something from me.<br/>
Bank Employee: Mister, your loan installment is overdue!
    Santa: Hey, this is not fair. You only call when you need something from me.
    Bank Employee: Mister, your loan installment is overdue!
  • Banta: OMG, you have a black eye. Who did that to you?<br/>
Santa: My wife.<br/>
Banta: I thought she was at her parents' home.<br/>
Santa: That's what I thought too!
    Banta: OMG, you have a black eye. Who did that to you?
    Santa: My wife.
    Banta: I thought she was at her parents' home.
    Santa: That's what I thought too!
  • Banta: What did you get on Christmas?<br/>
Santa: My wife went to buy a Christmas present for me but then she saw a beautiful purse. So she bought a pair of shoes for her!
    Banta: What did you get on Christmas?
    Santa: My wife went to buy a Christmas present for me but then she saw a beautiful purse. So she bought a pair of shoes for her!
  • Jeeto: You tell a man something, it goes into one ear and comes out of the other.<br/>
Santa: You tell a woman something, it goes into both ears and comes out of the mouth!
    Jeeto: You tell a man something, it goes into one ear and comes out of the other.
    Santa: You tell a woman something, it goes into both ears and comes out of the mouth!
  • While in this farmers' protest Santa was cornered by the media.<br/>
Media: What are you protesting for?<br/>
Santa: The govt should remove the three laws and keep only one law.<br/>
Media: You mean remove the recent 3 farm laws?<br/>
Santa: No. the Mother-in-law, the Father-in-law and the Brother-in-law.<br/>
Media: And which law should be kept?<br/>
Santa: Only Sister-in-law!
    While in this farmers' protest Santa was cornered by the media.
    Media: What are you protesting for?
    Santa: The govt should remove the three laws and keep only one law.
    Media: You mean remove the recent 3 farm laws?
    Santa: No. the Mother-in-law, the Father-in-law and the Brother-in-law.
    Media: And which law should be kept?
    Santa: Only Sister-in-law!
  • Jeeto: What is your New Year's resolution?<br/>
Santa: I don't know. You haven't told me!
    Jeeto: What is your New Year's resolution?
    Santa: I don't know. You haven't told me!
  • Santa: My wife and I share the same passion.<br/>
Banta: How?<br/>
Santa: I want to travel and she wants me to go away!
    Santa: My wife and I share the same passion.
    Banta: How?
    Santa: I want to travel and she wants me to go away!