• Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
    Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year.
    ~ Victor Borge
  • I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
    I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
    ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.
    Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.
    ~ Francoise Sagan
  • Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.
    Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.
    ~ Criss Jami
  • When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
    When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
    ~ Cathy Guiswite
  • Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
    ~ Groucho Marx
  • Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
    Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
    ~ Author Unknown
  • I can live for two months on a good compliment.
    ~ Mark Twain
  • Politicians and drapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
    Politicians and drapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
    ~ Mark Twain
  • God writes a lot of comedy, the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
    God writes a lot of comedy, the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
    ~ Garrison Keillor