• If you could read my mind, I'm pretty sure you'd either be traumatized or sexually aroused or both!
    If you could read my mind, I'm pretty sure you'd either be traumatized or sexually aroused or both!
  • What is the difference between a whore and a bitch?<br/>
A whore will have sex with anybody,<br/>
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A bitch will have sex with anybody except you!
    What is the difference between a whore and a bitch?
    A whore will have sex with anybody,
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    A bitch will have sex with anybody except you!
  • Telling people it's a good idea to wear masks several months into a pandemic is like bringing condoms to a baby shower!
    Telling people it's a good idea to wear masks several months into a pandemic is like bringing condoms to a baby shower!
  • Welcome to parenthood, your sex life now requires more planning than your wedding!
    Welcome to parenthood, your sex life now requires more planning than your wedding!
  • I was like 'Whatever Bitches' and the bitches whatevered!
    I was like 'Whatever Bitches' and the bitches whatevered!
  • In today's relationship:<br/>
You can touch each other's private parts.<br/>
But you can't touch each other's cell phones because they are so private!
    In today's relationship:
    You can touch each other's private parts.
    But you can't touch each other's cell phones because they are so private!
  • I have come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than Fuck!
  • Soda becomes Vodka.<br/>
Bikes become cars.<br/>
Kisses turn into sex. Remember when dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero?<br/>
Race issues were about who ran the fastest. <br/>
War was only a card game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?<br/>
And we couldn't wait to grow up!
    Soda becomes Vodka.
    Bikes become cars.
    Kisses turn into sex. Remember when dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero?
    Race issues were about who ran the fastest.
    War was only a card game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?
    And we couldn't wait to grow up!
  • Isn't it funny how a woman can argue nonstop for 3 hours but 2 minutes into a blowjob, and her jaw hurts!
    Isn't it funny how a woman can argue nonstop for 3 hours but 2 minutes into a blowjob, and her jaw hurts!
  • What is the difference between guilt and shame?<br/>
It's a guilt to sleep with another woman but It's a shame to miss the opportunity!
    What is the difference between guilt and shame?
    It's a guilt to sleep with another woman but It's a shame to miss the opportunity!