Suchitra Krishnamoorthy had lost herself somewhere when married to Shekhar Kapoor. Her prolific
director-husband's high-profile life cast a shadow on singer-actress-painter's individuality. Post-divorce,
Suchitra has rejuvenated by painting and rediscovering other interests.
Suchitra explains, "I didn't mind being eclipsed by Shekhar until I started to feel I was getting a raw deal as an individual. I started feeling I wasn't getting the validation that I required as a woman and a wife. It was then that I decided to find my own space."
Suchitra didn't want to go into details. But commented further, " I had just reached a stage where I didn't want to be unhappy all the time. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to sing and dance. My whole life revolved around Shekhar. My music, my entire being was about him. And then to feel everything about the marriage was a lie..."
Divorce has made Suchitra career-focussed. "Luckily, I'm getting work without too much struggle. I have tremendous respect for Ram Gopal Varma. When I moved back to India after marriage I was completely confused.
Here I was, a woman who had never known life beyond her husband and marriage, alone with a baby in hand. In my head I was never only Mrs Shekhar Kapoor. I had never legally changed my name. But yes, people did see me primarily as his wife. I'm proud of what Shekhar has achieved. But it's got nothing to do with me," she admits.
Today she looks at marriage to Shekhar as something that had to end and says, "I had reached a stage where I said 'I don't want anything.' People survive holocausts. So what's a marriage?
When I speak to others I see so many people who've gone through it.... But you know what? I wouldn't want to change the fact that I was married to Shekhar. Anyway, we get along much better now, without the baggage of marriage."