• Licensed To Lick

    A blonde orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar.

    It hits the blonde woman's boobs and splashes all over them.

    The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.

    Each time the blonde calls for another beer this happens.

    So, after the third beer, a guy decides to help the bartender out.

    The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts. She decks him!

    He is lying on the floor moaning, "Jeez, lady... Why do you let the bartender do it and not me?"

    "Helloooo!" says the blonde. "Bert has a licker license!"
  • Pappu Hates Masturbation

    Pappu: I don't like masturbution.

    Santa stunned: What...!!! What are you talking.

    Pappu: Yes dad, I am fed up of masturbution now.

    Santa was speechless but still managed to speak out: What happened Pappu?

    Pappu: He always punishes me in the class and gives lots of homework.

    Santa: Oye, Nalayak... Budhu... Masturbution Ek Saath Na Bol... Alag-Alag Bol... Master Bhushan... He's your Master and His Name is Bhushan.
  • Keep The Motor Running

    It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow.

    "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"

    He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

    The following year she gave birth again.

    The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?"

    He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running."

    The same thing happened the next year.

    The nurse said, "You must be quite a man."

    He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

    The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil, this one's black!"
  • Sex With The Garment Model

    Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together.

    Goldstein says to his friend, "Last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life."

    "What happened?" asks Birnbaum.

    Goldstein moans, "My wife and I went to Florida on vacation. It rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands of dollars on the credit card. I came back to New York and found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk."

    "You think you had a bad week?" responds Birnbaum. "My week was even worse! I went to Florida on vacation with my wife and it rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands on the credit card. Then, when I got back to New York, I found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk!"

    "How can you say that your week was worse than mine?" asks Goldstein. "It was identical!"

    "You fool!" replies Birnbaum. "I manufacture men's garments..."
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