• Wow, It's Dark Here!

    A small boy is wandering in a hotel, and hearing some noises decides to open a door. He says "Wow, it's dark here!"

    You can imagine that there's a man with a woman in bed in that room... The man asks, "What do you want? Here's a pound, leave us alone."

    A bit latter, the boy goes back again, opens the door, and says: "Wow, it's dark here!"

    "Not you again! Here, take this and go buy yourself something." And the boy goes out with 2 pounds.

    The following morning, the boy feels some remorse, and tells what happened to his mother. She says: "That's wrong. You should go to the church, and confess yourself."

    So there he goes. Entering the booth, he says: "Wow, it's dark here!"

    To which the priest says: "Not you again, are you following me around?"
  • Physics Viva Voice

    Two students go to physics oral exam. The first goes in the class and the professor begins with the questions:

    "Let's say you are traveling by train and its getting hot. What will you do?"

    "Open the window," he answers.

    "Very good!'" The professor continues, "The window has a surface of 1.5 m2, the compartment has a volume of 12 m3, the train speeds 80 km / h to the west, the south wind blowing at 5 m/s. How quickly will the space be refreshed?"

    The student does not know the answer and fails the exam. He gets out and tells the other student the question he was asked.

    The second student goes in, and the professor begins with the questions:

    "Lets say you are traveling by train and getting hot. What will you do?"

    "Take off the coat," answers the student.

    "It's very hot!" Continues the professor.

    "Take off my shirt and my vest."

    "It's very very hot!" Barks the Professor.

    "Will take off the pants and socks answers the student."

    "What if someone comes and tries to fuck you?" said the angry professor.

    "O yea, let the whole train fuck me, I am not opening the window!"
  • Horizontal and Vertical Lips

    A boss had to interview 4 girls for his secretary's position.....

    He asked the same question to each one of them....

    Boss: A woman normally has lips in 2 different places. What's the difference between the two ?

    First Girl: One is hairy, the other isn't.....

    Boss: OK... good !

    Second Girl: One can talk but the other can't !!! ....

    Boss: That's better !

    Third Girl: One is vertical and the other is horizontal .....

    Boss: Hmm... clever !

    Last Girl: One is for me and the other is for my Boss.....

    Boss: You are hired !!!
  • Chocolate Nut Sundae

    Little Johnny was the recipient of a holster and a pair of toy six shooters on his birthday. He went to show off his new toys, in full cowboy regalia.

    He went to the local ice cream stand, drew his pistols and exclaimed, "I want a sundae, and I want it NOW!"

    The waitress asked him, "What flavor?"

    Little Johnny replied, as he waved his guns, "I want a chocolate sundae, and I want it NOW!"

    The waitress asked, "Do you want whipped cream on it?"

    Little Johnny said, "I want whipped cream on it, and I want it NOW!"

    The waitress asked, "Do you want a cherry on it?"

    Little Johnny said, "I want a cherry on it, and I want it NOW!"

    The waitress asked, "Do you want your nuts crushed or chopped?"

    Little Johnny replied, "Do you want your tits shot off?"