• Emergency Brakes

    An Amish woman is in her horse and buggy heading back home when a Pennsylvania state trooper pulls her over. The trooper walks up to the door of the buggy and the woman says, "Good afternoon, young man. What seems to be the problem?"

    The trooper says, "Ma'am, I pulled you over because you were speedin... I'm just kidding."

    The two chuckled a bit before he continued to say, "Actually, I pulled you over because there's strap around your horse's... genitalia. It looks like it's a bit painful, and I wasn't sure if you knew it was there."

    The woman replies, "Oh dear, well my husband is the one that rigs the horses. I just clean them, and throw the horse over the fence some hay. But as soon as I get home, I'll be sure to tell him."

    The officer ended with, "Please do as soon as you can. Have a nice day."

    The woman gets home and says, "Pa?"

    Her husband yells down, "Yes, ma?"

    To which she replied, "A nice, young state trooper pulled me over today, and said there's something wrong with the brakes."
  • Free Drinks!!!

    Airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening flight from Amritsar, the lead flight attendant for the cabin crew nervously made the following painful announcement:

    "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mix up one minute prior to take-off by our airport catering service. I don't know how this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and unfortunately, only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologise for this mistake and inconvenience."

    When the passengers muttering had died down she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his/her meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free unlimited liquor during the entire duration of the flight."

    Her next announcement came an hour and a half later, "If anyone wants to change his/her mind we still have 40 dinners available."
  • Wife's Letter

    Mayeke Gayi Hui Patni Ka Pati Ko Letter:
    Kripya Instructions Dhyaan Se Padhein.

    Kaamwali Ko Salary De Di Hai, Jyada Daanveer Mat Ban Jaana.

    Aapko Kitni Baar Bataya Hai Ki Padosan Ka Akhbaarwala, Doodhwala, Laundrywaala Humse Alag Hai, Har Roz Subah Bahane Se Puchne Mat Pahunch Jaana Ki Aapka Akhbaara Aa Gaya...

    Almaari Mein Left Side Pe Aapke Underwar Aur Baniyan Rakhi Hai Aur Right Side Pe Pappu Ke, Last Time Saara Din Office Mein Upar -Neeche Kheench Rahe The...

    Chashma Sahi Jagah Pe Rakhna, Pichli Baar Jab Mein 5 Din Baad Aayi Thi Tab Fridge Mein Mila Tha...

    Apna Mobile Sambhaal Kar Rakhna, Pichli Baar Bathroom Mein Soap Case Mein Mila Tha. Mujhe Toh Ye Samajh Nahin Aaya Ki Bathroom Mein Mobile Ka Kya Kaam Hota Hai.

    Aur Haan, Yaaron-Doston Ko Jyada Jama Mat Karna. Yaad Hai Pichli Baar Sofe Ke Cover Se Kitne Saare Mungfali Aur Santre Ki Chilke Mile The Aur Bed Ke Neeche Beedi-Cigarettes Ke Tukde.

    Aur Most Important Baat: Jyada Khush Hone Ki Zaroorat Nahin Hai, Mein Kabhi Bhi Vaapas Aa Sakti Hun.
  • Sanskari James Bond !!!

    After the censor board has slashed 50 percent of the kissing scenes and some swearwords in the latest franchise of Bond, 'Spectre,' Twitter has reacted very sharply and they just can't stop trolling '#SanskariJamesBond.'

    Here are some of the funniest tweets.

    "I don't stop when I'm tired, I stop when billi rasta kaat gayi. #SanskariJamesBond," posted Billo.

    "#SanskariJamesBond has a small idol of Ganeshji on the dashboard of his Aston Martin," posted another Twitter user.

    "Villan: Come in Mr. James Bond, I've been expecting you.
    Bond: Ji Joote Kahan Uttaru? #SanskariJamesBond," said a Bond fan.

    "#SanskariJamesBond will ride a bullet proof Rath, will wear dhoti, will drink branded Mutra and will touch heroine's feet to turn her on," said ROFL.

    "#SanskariJamesBond eats dahi shakkar before leaving home when he goes on a mission," Muskaan said.

    "# SanskariJamesBond seduces women by lighting aggarbattis in his bedroom and then introduces them to his Mom," said Purba.

    "#SanskariJamesBond doesn't drink Vodka Martini because he's a Complan boy!" said Pratik.

    "Next series of #SanskariJamesBond willll be directed by Suraj Barjatya and movies'll be called 'Ham Aap Ke Hain Bond' and 'Bond Sanskar Dhan Payo', posted Vinay.

    "#SanskariJamesBond does not kill enemy agents on Tuesdays, Thursdays and during Nav Ratri," posted a user.