• Ask a Bong!

    Ask a Bong about life in general, and he would break into a sentimental rhapsody...
    In nineteen sebenty phibe, howen I owaas seben eaars old, I owaas chased by a beeg stray dog, and I litarally ran across da Howrah Breej in fipteen sekends. I think I ran phastaar than Carl Leewis! Had tha gobharment chosen me phor 100 mitaar race in Olimpic, I would hab brought a Gold Medel phor Bharot!

    Ask a Bong if he smokes or drinks...
    Smoking? Only waan packet paar day. Uills Classic. Modira? O... I am bhery selectib about drinks. I prephaar only Old Monk Raam or Tich-arse Choice huiski. Naathing else. No beer teer or bhodka phodka. And waan peg only bephore dinnar. Aare Robithakur himselp wrote about huiski.
    Deshe onnojoler holo ghor onoton.... Dhoro huiski soda aar moorgi moton! Hahahaha.
    You know... littil bit of drinking is actuaali good for haart! And shaala my wife daas not allau me to drink more. Bheri alaart..... hahahahaha!!!

    Enquire about his passions...
    Phutball. I laabh phutball. Mohon Bagan. I jaast laabh their green and howite outphit! Howen I waas in college, I played phor their B team. And then shaala I got married...that ruined my dreem of playing phor Mohon Bagan. And cricket?...Cricket is jaast hopeless. No team ephort! Ebhrybody wants to do adbhartisement!!!

    And on fidelity...
    It is bhery important to be phaithphul in marriage. We hab so meny phimale colleagues. Iit is so easy to be dibharted! Baat, you maast show discipline eour selph. So, my rule of thaamb is - abhoid eye contact. All contacts begin uith eye contact. So, when you are talking to a phimale colleague, don't ebhaar look into the eyes... look elsewhare... I mean look aaway.

    And finally, whom does he actually admire...
    Mai-kell Jaksaan (aha-bechaara), Ronaaldino, Maradona, Ko-peel Deb, Maadhuri, Omitabb, Shourob, Shochin, Mollika Sheraoaat (uff), Mondira Bedi, Bhibh Richaard, Shakira (ufff...mairee!), Aambani, Bipasha, and meny more... shob shalaar naam ki mone thakey!
  • Ouch! That Hearts - RIP

    With the bad food, the dogs in the image are badly trained and even tried to do some bad things to their owner.

    When old Mr. O'Leary died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. O'Leary called the undertaker aside for a private little talk.

    "Please be sure to fasten his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald," she confided, "and he'd never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. Our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they're through paying their last respects."

    "Rest assured, Mrs. O'Leary," comforted the undertaker, "I'll fix it so that toupee will never come off."

    Sure enough, the day of the wake the old timers were giving O'Leary's corpse quite a going-over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place.

    At the end of the day a delighted Mrs. O'Leary offered the undertaker an extra thousand dollars for handling the matter so professionally.

    "Oh, I couldn't possibly accept your money," protested the undertaker. "After all... what's a few nails?"
  • Blondes on a Picnic

    There were these two blondes driving along the highway looking for a place to stop and picnic.

    The first blonde says, "Let's stop here, and have our picnic under that tree."

    The other says, "No! Let's have it right here in the middle of the road."

    They argued about it for a bit, but finally agreed to have it in the middle of the road.

    All of a sudden, a car comes speeding towards them and has to swerve into the tree to keep from hitting them.

    The one blonde says to the other, "See? If we were under that tree, we'd be dead now!"
  • Choosing The Right Dress

    A man and hise wife went for shopping to get new sarees for wife.

    After seeing numerous sarees she shortlisted around 100 and further brought down to 25.

    Out of those 25 she finally asked her husband to choose 5 sarees among them.

    Then she finally picked up one saree and It took almost three hours for his wife to finalise.

    The husband settled the bill and commented: Adam was very lucky because he and Eve used to wear only leaves. He need not have to waste too much of time.

    Ultimate comment by wife: Who knows how many trees Adam had to climb and finally choose the leaves as per the wish of eve.