• Deep Sea Fishing

    Santa and Banta were both fanatics about deep sea fishing. Each would come back from fishing trips, and tell the other big lies about the number, and sizes of the fish they caught.

    So Banta comes back from his latest fishing trip, and tells Santa...

    "You wouldn't believe, but in Bahamas I caught a 500 pound Herring."

    Santa says...." That's nothing, last time I fished in da Bahamas, I pulled up an old lantern from a sunken American ship.... and the candle was still burning !"

    They both looked at each other, knowing that the other was lying.

    Finally, Santa said to Banta, "Look Banta, if you take 450 pounds from off your herring.... I'll blow out my candle !"
  • Single or Married ?

    A man got a call from unknown number.
    Girl: Hi, are you single???
    Man: Yes, but who are you ???
    Ans: Your wife.... Aaj Ghar Aana Tab Bataoungi...

    Another call from unknown number...
    Girl: Are you married ??
    Man: Yes, but who are you ??
    Girl: Your girlfriend,... you cheat!!!
    Man: Sorry baby, I thought it was my wife.
    Ans: Wife Hi Hoon Kamine, Aaj Tu Bas Ghar Aaja.
  • The Way Women Think

    Husband's Message (by text):

    "Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"

    Wife's Response:
    "Who's Paula?"
  • The Haircut

    A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

    His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."

    The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.

    After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut." The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."

    Love the Dad's reply!
    "Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?"
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT