• Suing Big Companies

    Down South, Bubba called his attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

    "Yes, Bubba, sure is true." responded the lawyer.

    "And now someone is suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true mister lawyer?"

    "Sure is Bubba. But why are you asking?"

    "Cause what I want to know is can I sue Budweiser for all the ugly women I've slept with?"
  • Lottery Ticket

    Ek Baar Banta Mandir Gaya Aur Haath Jodkar Bahgwaan Se Prarthana Karta Hai: Hey Prabhu ! Aaj Maine Lottery Daali Hai, Meri Aapse Dua Hai Ki Please Meri Lottery Aaj Nikalni Chahiye.

    Ye Kahkar Banta Apne Kaam Par Chala Jaata Hai. Raaste Mein Uski Jeb Kat Jaati Hai. Woh Gusse Mein Vaapis Mandir Aata Hai Aur Bhagwaan Ke Saamne Khade Hokar Kahta Hai:

    Hey Bhagwaan, Koi Bhi Action Lene Se Pehle Puri Baat Toh Sun Liya Karo.
  • The New Signature

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X's.

    He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show) you get the idea.

    One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by.

    "So vat's the problem? Greenberg asked, a bit anxiously.

    Smith waved a bunch of checks at him. "Perhaps nothing, he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 X's, but your signature of record has just 2.

    Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble, he said, "but my wife said that since I'm now such a high-class rich guy, I should have a middle name!"
  • Kids vs Teachers

    Ek Student Ko Apni Life Me Khud Par Sabse Zyada Proud Kab Hota Hai ?
    Jab Usko Exam Mein Kuch Na Aata Ho, Aur Pichhe Se Teacher Aake Kahe: Copy Chhupa Lo, Pichhe Wala Dekh Raha Hai...
    Kasam Se, Seena Kushi Se Chauda Ho Jaata Hai...

    A School Inspection Inspector: Ek bade Ccientist Ka Naam Batao?
    Student: Alia Bhatt..!!
    Inspector: Aap Ye Sikhate Ho School Mein?
    Teacher: Ye Totla Hai Sir... Ye Bol Raha Hai... ARYABHATT

    Pappu Kayi Dino Se School Nahi Ja Raha Tha.
    Toh Kaafi Dino Ke Baad School Jane Per Teacher Pappu Se Puchti Hai: Itne Din Se Kahaan The?
    Pappu: Bird Flu Ho Gaya Tha.
    Teacher: Par Yeh Toh Birds Mein Hota Hai.
    Pappu (Gusse Me): Insaan Hi Kaha Rehne Diya Apne, Roj To Murga Bana Dete Ho...

    Top Replies by Teachers if they don't know the answers:
    1) I think the question is wrong.
    2) I'll tell you tomorrow.
    3) Don't ask foolish questions!
    4) You'll study this in the next semester.
    & the most famous one,
    5) Nice question, raise your hands who know the answer of this question ?
    If no one raises... Then it is an assignment for you.

    Teacher: Pappu, What's 5 - 5?
    Pappu remains quiet.
    Teacher tries again: Agar Tere Paas 5 Bhaturey Hain, Aur Maan Lo Ki Vo 5 Bhature Tum Se Le Loon Toh Tumhaare Paas Kya Bachega?
    Pappu: Chholle.....!!!!