A guy goes into the bar and sits down and orders a drink. Other than the bartender, there's no one else in the place.
All of a sudden he hears a voice say, 'Nice suit.'
He looks around and doesn't see anyone and the bartender looks busy washing some glasses.
A little while later the same voice says, 'Nice tie.'
The guy looks around again and doesn't see anyone. He finally asks the bartender if he just said something.
'No,' replied the bartender, "it wasn't me. It was probably the peanuts though. They're complimentary.'
There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband, for example...
A wife comes home late at night from being out of town and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Hi Darling," he says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say, 'Hello' to them?"
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Pappu, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him, "Pappu, how many times have you seen a red duck?"
Young Pappu replied with, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."
Santa decided to study for the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, one of his friends came home.
Friend: Santa, how is your MBA preparation?
Santa: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Friend: Logic is very easy.
Santa: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand?
Friend: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Friend: Logically, there will be water in it.
Friend: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Friend: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Friend: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Friend: so, logically, your are married.
Friend: So, that means you are a heterosexual.
Santa was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees Banta who was also preparing for MBA.
Santa: How is your MBA preparation?
Banta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Santa: Oh, logic is easy.
Banta: Please, give me an example.
Santa: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Banta: NO, I don't.
Santa: Oh my God! That means you're gay!