• Clever Signages

    Clever Signages. Good copywriting.
    A sign in a shoe repair store:
    We will heel you,
    We will save your sole,
    We will even dye for you.

    Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office:
    Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

    In a Podiatrist's office:
    Time wounds all heels.

    At an Optometrist's Office:
    If you don't see what you're looking for,
    You've come to the right place.

    On a Plumber's truck:
    We repair what your husband fixed.

    On another Plumber's truck:
    Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

    On an Electrician's truck:
    Let us remove your shorts.

    In a Non-smoking Area:
    If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.

    On a Maternity Room door:
    Push. Push. Push.

    At a Car Dealership:
    The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.`

    Outside a Muffler Shop:
    No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

    In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
    Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

    At the Electric Company:
    We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
    However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.

    In a Restaurant window:
    Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.`

    In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
    Drive carefully. We'll wait.`

    In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
    Best place in town to take a leak.`

    Sign on the back of Septic Tank Truck:
    Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises

    On another Septic Tank Truck:
    Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
  • Age Matters!!!

    A group of guys, all aged about 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant, because the waitresses there were pretty.

    Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was good and the wine selection was excellent.

    Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could dine in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

    Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had an elevator.

    Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.
  • Dhongi Baba and Pappu

    Pappu Ko Apne Khet Mein Tubewell Lagwana Tha Per Usko Smajh Nahin Aa Raha Tha Ki Kahan Lagwaye. Tabhi Wahan Se Ek Baba Ji Gujre. Pappu Ne Socha Ki Kyun Na Baba Ji Se Pucha Jaaye.

    Baba Ji Saare Khet Mein Ghoomte Hain Aur Thodi Der Ke Baad Ek Kone Mein Haath Rakh Kar Bolte Hain Ki Beta, Yahan Laga Le Tubewell Aur Batane Ke 1100 Rs Maang Liye.

    Pappu Samajh Gaya Ki Ye Dhongi Baba Hai Lekin Bechara Kuch Bol Nahi Paaya Aur Chupchaap 1100 De Diye.

    Phir Achcnak Pappu Babaji Se Bola: Babaji Mein Bahut Khush Hun... Aap Mere Ghar Chalo Aur Khaana Khaake Ke Jaana.

    Baba Ji Ne Socha Ki Aaj Toh Murga Phas Gaya... Aur Haan Kar Di.

    Pappu Apni Patni Ko Phone Karke Se Bola: Mein Aur Ek Babaji Aa Rahe Hain Khaane Pe, Kuch Paka Lo Aur Ek Katore Mein Neeche Desi Ghee Aur Upar Chawal Daal Dena.

    Patni Boli: Lekin Ghee Toh Uppar Hota Hai.

    Pppu Bola: Aaj Tu Ghee Neeche Rakhna.

    Thodi Der Mein Pappu Babaji Ko Lekar Ghar Pahunch Jaata Hai Aur Uski Patni Khaana Laga Deti Hai.

    Babaji Chawal Wala Katora Dekh Kar Bole: Beta, Ismein Ghee Toh Hai Hi Nahin...!!!

    Pappu Toh Isi Baat Ka Intezaar Kar Raha Tha, Aur Usne 2-3 Thappad Laga Diye Baba Ji Ke Aur Bola: Baba, Tune Khet Mein 100 Foot Neeche Paani Dekh Liya Per Katori Mein 3 Inch Neeche Ghee Nahin Dikha???
  • Thousand Salutes!

    A youngster got posted to FM Sam Maneckshaw's unit when Sam was the CO.

    This youngster was on his rounds when one of the riflemen did not notice him and missed saluting him. The youngster got cheesed and called out to the Gorkha and asked him the reason for not saluting.

    The Gorkha innocently gave out the reason that he did not see "Leftent Huzoor".

    The youngster not convinced, punished the Gorkha to a thousand salutes.

    The soldier immediately started saluting.

    Sam who was passing by, asked the youngster as to what was happening.

    The youngster said, "Sir this soldier had the audacity of not saluting me. So I have punished him with 1000 salutes."

    Sam replied, "Bloody good punishment young man. But ensure that you return each of his salutes."

    For the next two hours the unit was treated to a scene of a Gorkha saluting, and the young officer returning each of his salutes.

    Respect, is a two way street.
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