• Smart Police Officer

    A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

    So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.

    The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything. When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for.

    The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an asshole!"

    Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.

    Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"

    Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."

    Lawyer, "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"

    "Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH," underlined."

    "What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"

    "Aggressive and hostile, Sir."

    "Aggressive and hostile?"

    "Yes, Sir.

    "Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for asshole?"

    "Well, sir, you know your client better than I do."

    How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client.
  • Wrong Sign Board!

    Ek Ghane Jungle Se Gujarti Hui Sadak Ke Kinaare Ek Gyani Guru Apne Chele Ke Saath Ek Signboard Lagaa Kar Baithe Huye The, Jis Par Likha Thaa:
    Thahariye... Aapka Ant Nikat Hai ! Is Se Pehle Ki Bahut Der Ho Jaaye, Rukiye !!! Hum Aapka Jeevan Bacha Sakte Hain !

    Ek Car Badi Tezi Se Wahaan Se Gujri. Chele Ne Driver Ko Board Padhne Ke Liye Ishaara Kiya.

    Car Driver Ne Board Kee Taraf Dekhkar Aur Gaali Dee Aur Chele Se Yah Kahte Hue Nikal Gaya: Tum Log Yahan Jungle Mein Bhi Dhandha Kar Rahe Ho. Sharam Aani Chaahiye Tumko!

    Chele Ne Badi Asahaye Nazron Se Guruji Ki Taraf Dekhta Hai.

    Guruji Bole: Jaise Prabhu Ki Ichchha !

    Kuchh Hi Der Mein Brakes Ke Cheekhne Kee Aawaaz Aayi Aur Jordaar Dhamaaka Hua.

    Thodi Der Baad Ek Mini Truck Wahaan Se Gujra. Uska Driver Bhi Chele Ko Dutkarte Hue Aage Chalaa Gaya.

    Kuchh Samay Ke Baad Phir Brakes Ke Cheekhne Kee Aawaaz Aur Fir Dhadaam !

    Guruji Phir Bole: Jaisi Prabhu Kee Ichchha !

    Ab Chele Se Nahi Rahaa Gaya Aur Bola: Guruji Prabhu Ki Ichchha Toh Theek Hai Par Kaisa Rahe Yadi Ham Is Board Par Seedhe-Seedhe Likh Dein Ki:
  • Bull's Education

    A tractor salesman was passing a farm, where the farmer was plowing the field with a bull. He goes over and offers to sell the farmer a tractor to plow with.

    The farmer tells him, "I don't need a tractor, I have three new ones at the barn."

    "Well if you have three new tractors at the barn, why are you plowing this field with that bull, asked the salesman ?"

    The farmer replied, "This is part of the bull's continuing education. I am teaching him that there is more to farming than messing with cows and tearing down fences.
  • Trying on Shoes

    A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes.

    "How do they feel?" asks the salesclerk.

    "Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde.

    The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde's feet.

    "Try pulling the tongue out," offers the clerk.

    "Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth," the blonde replies.