• Anything For You

    A Male mosquito to its wife: Darling I will hunt a Lion for you.

    Female mosquito: Ok fine, now go to sleep.

    Male mosquito: I will bite an elephant and bring his blood for you.

    Female mosquito: Sure love, go to sleep.

    Male mosquito: I will drive you around Paris in a Mercedes.

    Female mosquito: Hmmmmmm... ok, go to sleep...

    Male mosquito: You don't trust me? I will get you a 100 gms Gold chain....

    Female mosquito: You idiot go to sleep...

    Male mosquito: Honey I'll do anything for you.

    Female mosquito: You silly son of a bitch... how many times have I told you not to come home after biting a politician.
  • Humorous Ponderings

    When you are bored just think about a few things that don't make sense... like...

    If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

    Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

    Do twins ever realise that one of them is unplanned?

    Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?

    Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

    Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

    The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".

    100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

    If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.

    Four great confusions still unresolved:
    1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?

    2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

    3. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?

    4. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

    We can never find the answers, can we?
    So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!!!
  • Angel Food Cake

    Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies' group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat.

    She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake."

    So, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom ... a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and covered it with icing.

    The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church.

    Before she left the house, Alice had given her daughter some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened, and to buy that cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold. Alice was beside herself.

    The next day, Alice was invited to a friend's home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon. After the game, a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert. Alice saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, "What a beautiful cake!" Alice sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I baked it myself."
  • For English Lovers

    Interesting read for English lovers...

    Once Ishwarchandra Vidyasagar jokingly asked Madhusudhan Dutt, "As you are a master in English, can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"

    He wrote this...

    "I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap.

    "And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."