• Help Yourself

    This morning I was having bread butter in breakfast. Wanted some green chutney for extra taste.

    But thought of Modiji's advice and didn't ask my wife for it.

    I got up myself, went to the kitchen, brought it on my own from the refrigerator, applied it on bread and had it.

    Though the taste of chutney was different but had a great patriotic feeling of AATMNIRBHARTA.

    After few minutes my wife came and asked me, "Have you seen a bowl of Mehandi I kept in the refrigerator last night ?"
  • Where's My Spoon?

    John goes to the deli for some soup. After he's seated and about to eat he calls the waiter over.

    When the waiter comes he says, "Taste this soup."

    The waiter says, "Why what's wrong with the soup?"

    John says, "Taste this soup."

    The waiter says, "John, you've come in here for thirty years and you always get the soup, you've never complained before."

    John says, "Taste this soup."

    The waiter says, "What? What is it? If you don't want the chicken soup we have other kinds - vegetable, Italian Ministrone?"

    John says, "Taste this soup!"

    The waiter finally agrees, "Fine John, fine! I'll taste the soup".

    He leans over the table prepared to taste the soup, he hesitates and says, "Where's your spoon?"

    "Exactly," says John, "Where's my bloody spoon?"
  • An Expensive Fishing Trip

    Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!

    The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

    As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

    The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
  • Trucker's Order

    A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."
    The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running Boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"

    "No," the cook said, "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."

    "Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

    The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"

    She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"