|When people tell me that I look good with beard are they trying to tell me that my face looks better since they can't see much of my face?|
|Dad: Would you like to visit the moon some day?|
Millennial Kid: Do they have wi-fi there?
Dad: Pretty sure, they don't.
Millennial Kid: Then surely NO!
|My optician's just told me I'm colour blind.|
It's come completely out of the green!
|The same adults who warned us 15 years ago `not to believe everything you see on the internet,` now believe everything they see on the internet!|
The word `mint` could be referring to a plant, candy, flavor, color, or condition of something!
|People don't hate Maths. They hate being confused, intimidated and embarrassed by math. Their problem is with how it's taught!|
|Irony is that those politicians who indulge in horse-trading are seeking a 'trust' vote!|
|To the person who stole my glasses.|
I will find you, I have contacts!
|Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.|
I've had enough!, tomorrow I'm returning it to Ikea!
|The only Fitbit steps I enjoy taking are the ones I get when I'm shopping!|