• When people tell me that I look good with beard are they trying to tell me that my face looks better since they can't see much of my face?
    When people tell me that I look good with beard are they trying to tell me that my face looks better since they can't see much of my face?
  • Dad: Would you like to visit the moon some day?<br/>
Millennial Kid: Do they have wi-fi there?<br/>
Dad: Pretty sure, they don't.<br/>
Millennial Kid: Then surely NO!
    Dad: Would you like to visit the moon some day?
    Millennial Kid: Do they have wi-fi there?
    Dad: Pretty sure, they don't.
    Millennial Kid: Then surely NO!
  • My optician's just told me I'm colour blind.<br/>
It's come completely out of the green!
    My optician's just told me I'm colour blind.
    It's come completely out of the green!
  • The same adults who warned us 15 years ago `not to believe everything you see on the internet,` now believe everything they see on the internet!
    The same adults who warned us 15 years ago `not to believe everything you see on the internet,` now believe everything they see on the internet!
  • Funny English:<br/>
 
The word `mint` could be referring to a plant, candy, flavor, color, or condition of something!
    Funny English:
    The word `mint` could be referring to a plant, candy, flavor, color, or condition of something!
  • People don't hate Maths. They hate being confused, intimidated and embarrassed by math. Their problem is with how it's taught!
    People don't hate Maths. They hate being confused, intimidated and embarrassed by math. Their problem is with how it's taught!
  • Irony is that those politicians who indulge in horse-trading are seeking a 'trust' vote!
    Irony is that those politicians who indulge in horse-trading are seeking a 'trust' vote!
  • To the person who stole my glasses.<br/>
I will find you, I have contacts!
    To the person who stole my glasses.
    I will find you, I have contacts!
  • Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.<br/>
I've had enough!, tomorrow I'm returning it to Ikea!
    Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
    I've had enough!, tomorrow I'm returning it to Ikea!
  • The only Fitbit steps I enjoy taking are the ones I get when I'm shopping!
    The only Fitbit steps I enjoy taking are the ones I get when I'm shopping!