Actor turned writer-filmmaker; here's what led Radhika Apte to make her first short-film
Radhika Apte has donned many hats while portraying different roles for her films, now has taken up direction too.
An old Native Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two Government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," asked one Official, "you have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress and the damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The Official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The Chief stared at the Government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Natives were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, Medicine Man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, and all night having sex."
Then the Chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
An old Native Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two Government officials sent to interview him.
"Chief Two Eagles," asked one Official, "you have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress and the damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The Official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The Chief stared at the Government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Natives were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, Medicine Man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, and all night having sex."
Then the Chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."
Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there. He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal, and the humble shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look.
One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO: What do you think of the stock market situation?
The Director arrogantly asks him: Why are you so interested in this subject?
The shoeshine man replies: I have a million dollars invested in your bank and I am thinking about investing part of the money in the stock market.
The CEO of the bank asks: What is your name?
He replies: John Smith H.
The Director arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Major Accounts Department: Do we have a customer named John Smith H.?
The Customer Service Manager for Major Accounts replies: We certainly do, Sir! He is an extremely esteemed customer! He has a million dollars in his account.
The CEO leaves the bank, approaches the shoeshine boy, and says: Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you to be our guest of honor at our board meeting next Monday and tell us your life story. I'm sure we will have a lot to learn from you.
At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members:
We all know Mr. Smith, who makes our shoes shine like no one else. But Mr. Smith is also our valued customer, with a million dollars in his account. I invited him to tell us the story of his life. I'm sure we can learn a lot from him. Please, Mr. Smith, tell us your life story.
Then, Mr. Smith began to narrate his story:
I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe and with a weird and unpronounceable name. I left the ship penniless in my pocket. The first thing I did was to change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started to wander in search for a job, but without success. Suddenly, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought some apples. Eat the apples and quench my hunger or start a business.
I sold the apples for 50 cents and bought more apples with the money. When I started accumulating dollars, I managed to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polishes and started cleaning shoes. I didn't spend a dime on fun or clothes. I only bought bread and cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while I bought a new set of brushes and shoe polishes in different shades and colors and increased my clientele.
I lived like a monk and saved a penny after penny.
After a while, I managed to buy a chair so that my customers could sit comfortably while I cleaned their shoes, which brought me more customers.
I didn't spend a dime on the pleasures of life. I kept saving every penny. A few years ago, when the corner shoeshine colleague decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his point, which was a better place than mine.
Finally, three months ago, my sister, who was a whore in Chicago, passed away and left me a million dollars....
Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there. He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal, and the humble shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look.
One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO: What do you think of the stock market situation?
The Director arrogantly asks him: Why are you so interested in this subject?
The shoeshine man replies: I have a million dollars invested in your bank and I am thinking about investing part of the money in the stock market.
...
A blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her, "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love and your prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to commend you and to grant you anything you wish."
"Oh, Father, I am perfectly happy. I do what I love. The Church supports me. I am content. I need nothing."
"There must be something you would like," said God.
Well, there is one thing."
"Name it," said God. She frowned.
"It's those blonde jokes. They're so demeaning, not just to me but to blondes everywhere.
Can you stop them?"
"Consider it done," said God.
"Blonde jokes are hereby stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But isn't there something I could do just for you?"
"Well, there's one thing. But it's really small and not worth Your time," she said.
"Tell me, please!" said God.
"It's the M&M's," she said. "They're so hard to peel!"
A blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her, "My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love and your prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to commend you and to grant you anything you wish."
"Oh, Father, I am perfectly happy. I do what I love. The Church supports me. I am content. I need nothing."
"There must be something you would like," said God.
Well, there is one thing."
"Name it," said God. She frowned.
"It's those blonde jokes. They're so demeaning, not just to me ...