Clean Jokes

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point...

The children and grand children of an elderly Jewish woman decided to send grandma on a cruise. Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser. He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have...

An old woman walked up and tied her mule to the hitching post. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whisky...

Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time. Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend. As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she...

One beautiful December evening, Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting, overlooking the ocean. There was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said, "Hey, let`s play Weeweechu."
"Oh no, not now, let`s just look...

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review...

In London, a customer asked: Do you have Sarso Ka Tel ?
The shopkeeper: Are you an Indian?
The guy (clearly offended): Yes I am! But let me ask you something, if I had asked for...

A hillbilly walked into an attorney`s office wanting to file for divorce. Attorney: May I help you?
Hillbilly: Yeah, I want to get one of those dayvorces.
Attorney: Well, do you have any...

The scene is sometime in the old era when cockpits had round dials plus flight engineers and navigators. The crusty old-timer Captain is breaking in a brand new navigator. The captain opens his briefcase, pulls out...

A couple were roaring down the road on a Honda motorcycle when the guy pulled over because his leather jacket had a broken zip. He told his girlfriend, "I can`t keep driving any more, the air hitting me in the chest....