Mature Jokes

A man was prescribed Viagra by his doctor who told him to take it one hour before sex...

A colleague approached this man at lunch and invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, and that she does not allow him to go drinking...

Lady: Hi, good afternoon.
Radio Station: Good afternoon, what can we do for you?
Lady: Please, I`ll like to get two tickets for the Honey Singh LIVE show this weekend...

Wife caught Husband sleeping with his girlfriend. Furious and angry she aimed pistol at her husband.
Huband: Before you do anything silly let me explain...

Leaving the wedding reception the honeymoon couple hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.

The driver wasn`t too sure how to get there and said he would ask directions when they got closer.

Meanwhile, the lovers couldn`t wait and got down to it on the back seat.

Seeing a fork in the road the driver said, "I take the next turn, right?"

"No way, get your own," said the groom, "this one`s all mine."

On their wedding night, the young bride told her groom, "Since we`re married now, we can arrange our sex life like this...

Sitting in the bar a man asked his friend, "You`re 40 years old. How come you are not married?"
His friend replied, "I just haven`t found the right woman yet...

The parties hereto, the Fucker and the Fuckee, hereby agree to and accept the following terms.
1. The Fucker shall have the right to the minimum of one fuck in the position...

Two guys are in a bar discussing their sex lives. One guy says to the other, "How`s your sex life buddy...

I, the undersigned, agree that:
1. In the highly unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after you`ve drunkenly rolled on top of me, as is entirely normal and in accordance with the natural order of things...