Clean Jokes

Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling...

I think, I`m going to lose my drivers license... and all just because of a stupid police officer. The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car- Officer: License and registration, please...

A man walked into a Wal-Mart and the Greeter said, "Automotive, aisle 15."
The man asked, "How did you know I was here to get oil?"
The Greeter replied...

A girl from North Carolina and a girl from California sat side by side on an airplane.
The girl from North Carolina, being friendly an...

A manager has to take on some sport by his doctor so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he`s doing.
"It`s going fine," the manager says...

I`m so glad that this is my last child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those payments! So I called my baby girl, Kareesha, to come over to my house, and when...

A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "guinea pigs" in a test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared...

Brandon, at a New Year`s party, turns to his friend, Justin, and asks for a cigarette.
"I thought you made a New Year`s resolution to quit smoking

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two- letter word, and that is "UP." It`s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list...

The ninety five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of her fellow church members.
"How are you feeling?" the visitor asked.
"Oh," said the lady, "I`m just...