Weather Cows
A Midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of the benefits of this profession," he explained, "is that we have built-in weather predictions."
"What do you mean...
Attention Deficit Disorder
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that...
All Quacked Up
An American tourist was visiting a small village in Ireland when there was a sudden gust of wind which blew his hat off into the middle of a nearby pond. Walking over to the village idiot, who was sitting beside the pond...
I Gave at the Office
Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing...
Playing with Words
The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend...
Marriage License
A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn`t, sent them off to get...
The Law Of Attraction
The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it. The rat was in the middle of the cage. Then, the professor kept a piece of cake on one side and kept a female rat on the other side. The male rat ran...
Super-Healthy Granny
Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn`t take it kindly when a bad case of the flu sent her to the hospital for observation. By the time a pair of husky interns...
Not all seniors are senile
An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked...
The Blame Game
GIRL to GOD: I don`t want to marry. I am educated, independent and self sufficient. I don`t need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What to do ? GOD replied: YOU are my finest creation and...