Clean Jokes

One day The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain. So the king...

Every Monday morning for years, at about 11:30 am, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summed-up the nerve to ask him why...

A young woman walks into a prestige car sales room. Looks around at all the Porsches, Lamborghini`s, Jags etc., and says to the salesman. "Can I have the red one?" - a top of the range Porsche...

The Irish priest was at the altar one dreary Sunday morning, addressing his congregation, vehement that alcohol was the work of the devil. "As an example," he stated during his sermon, "If you were to lead a...

The underwear making company, Jockey was having a tough time with stock theft. On departure for home, all workers` bags were searched and everything always seemed OK. All security measures you can think of were put in...

Ken sets up his friend Mike on a blind date with a young lady-friend of his. But Mike is a little worried about going out with someone he`s never seen before. "What do I do if she`s really unattractive...

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I`ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken...

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children between 5th- and 6th-grade ages in Ohio. They were collected by two teachers...

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.
Paddy, the officer, stops them and tells them, "It is illegal to put five people in a Quattro. Quattro means four...

Three blonde fishermen are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, I`d like to see...