Clean Jokes

Two middle eastern friends are in a locker room taking a shower after their racquetball game when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his behind. "If you do not mind me saying," said the second...

This little old lady is walking her dog around the local lake. It is a cold morning and the lake is still frozen. All of a sudden her little dog spots a duck on the ice and runs out to bite the shit out of it...

Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children. The first one says, "You know, my son, he graduated first in his class from Oxford. He`s now a doctor, making $250,000 Euro a year in Chicago....

Our teacher asked what my favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn`t funny; but she couldn`t have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always...

A thief entered the house in the mid- afternoon... he tied up the woman and showing knife point asked the man to hand over all the jewellery and money. Man started sobbing and said.... "Bhai you take anything you want...

An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked...

Sarah, being the `only buy-on-sale shopper,` beckoned to a salesman in a Department Store, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there...

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a big, muddy hole in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves...

A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on. One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, "He wouldn`t let me have my half...

A nun was walking in the convent when one of the priests noticed she was gaining a little weight. "Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?" he asked.
"No, Father. Just a little gas...