Clean Jokes

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. Our boyfriend`s clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
3. We can cry and get off speeding fines...

Fred was well known for his cheapness and his "eye for a bargain." One day he was looking for a cheap wedding present for his niece, so he went into a thrift shop. As he was walking around, he noticed...

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the course language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided...

A job seeker was interviewing, and the interviewer asked him, "Tell me what is your greatest strength?"
The prospective employee said, "Sir, I am a little bit shy, but should I give you my...

A very handsome man gets into a terrible car accident. The doctors save his life, but he loses one eye. Before a nice glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye. The man becomes very depressed...

A young girl walks into a prestige car sales room. Looks around at all the Porsches, Lamborghini`s, Jags etc., and says to the salesman, "Can I have the red one?" - a top of the range Porsche...

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath. Just as he`d become comfortable, the front doorbell rang. large towel, wrapped his head in a smaller towel, and went to the door. A salesman at the door wanted to...

1. Handsome 2) Charming 3) Financially successful 4) A caring listener 5) Witty 6) In good shape 7) Dresses with style 8) Appreciates finer things 9) Full of thoughtful surprises...

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things... chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew...

A very wealthy entrepreneur named John retired to the countryside. On one of his long walks, he passed a Mental Institution, and behind the chain link fence, he saw the patients fighting ferociously...