Clean Jokes

An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and haircut, but he tells the barber he probably can`t get all of his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled...

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald`s fast food establishment. Not sure if they hired him...
NAME: Armando Rodriguez...

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" the irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Madam", said the newspaper employee...

On a long haul UK flight, a mother took her young son to the toilet and told him she would come back for him, in five minutes.
However, he was finished in two minutes, so he left the toilet and...

A guy is 72 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn`t see any one...

In the past few years:
1. I learnt to operate 3 critical machines: Scanner, Printer and Xerox Machine.
2. I learnt to use 3 High End Softwares: Microsoft Word...

Arnab Goswami might probably be the only guy in this world to fight with his wife & win.
If we could place a mini turbine inside Arnab Goswami`s throat...

9.00 AM: Beep... Beep...
Msg received... Salary credited to your account.
Me: Yipeeee...
9.01 AM: Beep... Beep...

A Jamaican wants a job, but the foreman won`t hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here is your first question", the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent...

Dronacharya: The Mentor. The employee who doesn`t like working himself but is always ready to guide and train new joiners.
Bhishma: The Loyal. The employee...