Clean Jokes

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the high school intercom: Will the students who are parked on...

An Indian goes to Walmart in the U.S. He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out...

A man is sitting next to a woman who`s trying to breast-feed her baby in a bus.
The baby refuses to...

In prison: You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
At work: You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In prison: You get three meals a...

The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap. Santa doesn`t usually take requests...

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened...

I mowed the lawn today, and after I'd finished I sat down with a cold beer. It was a beautiful day and the drink facilitated some deep thinking...

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven`t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean? I`m fine....

Just before Christmas I was shopping at a toy faire in Worcester.
I glanced to my left and caught sight of a queue at the doll counter; they were waiting for the shelves to be restocked with Mattel dolls...

The story goes that a certain court jester went too far one day and insulted his king. The king became so infuriated that he sentenced the jester to be executed...