|Q: What do you call dental X-rays?|
A: Tooth pics .
Q: What do you call a group of babies?
A: An infantry.
Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
A: He pasta away.
Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A: Because they lactose.
Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A: A dinosnore.
Q: Which way did the programmer go?
A: He went data way.
Q: How does NASA organize a party?
A: They planet.
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
A: Same middle name.
Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye??
A: Between you and me, something smells.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts.
Q: What do you call an alligator that wears a vest?
A: An investigator .
Q: Are mountains just funny?
A: No. They are hill areas.
Q: why didn't the bicycle stand up on its own?
A: It was two tired.
Q: What did the window feel when it was hit by a stone?
A: It felt the pane.
|After spending several hours wandering through the woods, Santa and Banta are thoroughly lost. Disorientated, they sit down to discuss what to do next.|
"Hey, I have an idea," says Santa. "If we each fire three shots into the air, someone will hear them and come to help us."
Banta agrees, so each of them fires their shots. An hour later, nobody has come to help, so they decide to fire three more shots. Another hour passes - still no one.
"Okay lets try this one more time" says Santa.
"Yaar Santa, this had better work," replies Banta. "These are our last arrows."
|A group of nuns were travelling in a car when it had a flat tire. They got out and try to change it, but being rather unworldly, they don't really know how. Luckily, a truck came along and the driver offered to change it for them. They gratefully accepted.|
As the trucker jacked up the car, it slipped from the jack and he yelled, "Son-of-a-bitch"
The eldest nun said to him, "That is not nice language. We understand that you are upset, but you mustn't use such language."
"Sorry, Sister," he said, and tried again. Again it slipped, this time almost smashing his fingers. "Son-of- a-bitch," he yelled again.
"Please, don't use such language. If changing our tire is causing you to do so, it would be better if you didn't help us."
"But I get so upset, and it just comes out."
"Well," said the nun, "Say something else when you get upset, something like 'Sweet Jesus, help me.'"
So the trucker tried to jack up the car again. And again it slipped.
He started to say, "Son.." but he corrected himself and said, "Sweet Jesus, help me."
At that, the car miraculously rose into the air all by itself.
The nuns looked at the car in wonder, exclaiming in unison, "Son-of-a-bitch!"
|Girl : Hello Control Tower, This Is Flight 365, We Have a Problem.|
Control Tower: Kya Problm Hai Boliye?
Girl: Kuch Nahi.
Control Tower: Please, Apni Bataiye Problem.
Girl: Nahi Rehne Dijiye.
Control Tower: Pleassseeeee Bataiyye.
Girl: Nothing... I am Fine, Aap Nahi Samajh Sakte.
Control Tower: Arrey Boliye Mada, Kya Problem Hai.
Girl: Bass Akela Rehne Do Mujhe.
Control Tower: Arrey Diwaani Ladki, 200 Passengers Hai Uss Plane Mein.
Girl: Haan Meri Toh Koi Parwa Hi Nai. Unn 200 Ki Hai Parwa Bas. Mujhe Nahi Ksrni Baat.