• Conference Calls

    Typical Conference Calls in Corporates:
    Caller 1: Hi, this is Dheeraj from Sales.
    Silence.... All waiting others to Join...

    Caller 2: Hi, this is Ajay from Marketing.
    Silence.... All waiting others to Join...

    Caller 3: Hi, its Shyam from Finance.
    Silence.... All waiting others to Join...

    Caller 4: Hello, Kuldeep from Administration.
    Silence.... All waiting others to Join...

    Caller 5: Hi, this is Neha from HR.
    Hi Neha,
    Hi Neha,
    Hello Neha,
    Good Morning Neha...
  • The Bar Bet!

    I found myself in a pub in Patiala and a group of American tourists came in.

    One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Punjabis think you're great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no-one here can drink 3 bottles of Jack Daniels in 10 minutes."

    The bar was silent, the American noticed Santa leaving, no-one took up the bet. 20 minutes later Santa who left returned and said, "Hey Yank, is your bet still on?"

    "Sure," said the American, "3 JD in 10 minutes for a bet of $5,000."

    "Great...," replied Santa, "so pour the whisky and start the clock."

    It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.

    "OK Yank, pay up." said Santa.

    "I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?"

    "Well sir," replied Santa, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it !
  • Alcohol Therapy

    Apni Sharaab Kee Lat se pareshaan Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya.

    Santa: Doctor Sahab.... Meri Sharaab Chhudaao !

    Doctor: Roz Kitni Peete Ho ?

    Santa: 4 Peg !

    Doctor: Aaj Se 1 Peg Kam Kar Do Aur 1 Hafte Ke Baad Mujhse Milo.

    1 Hafte Baad....
    Doctor: Abhi Kitni Pee Rahe Ho Roz ?

    Santa: Jitni Aapne Bataayi Thee... Sirf 3 Peg !

    Doctor: Aaj Se 1 Peg Aur Kam Kar Do Aur Agle Hafte Mujhe Phir Se Milo.

    Phir 1 Hafte Ke Baad...
    Doctor: Ab Kitne Peg Le Rahe Ho ?

    Santa: 2 Peg Sir !

    Doctor: Good ! Ab Aaj Se Daily Sirf 1 Peg Lena Hai, Theek Hai? Santa: Par Doctor Sahab... 1 Peg Mein Poori Bottle... Peg Kuchh Jyada Tight Nahi Ho Jayega ???
  • Little Johnny's Balloon

    Little Johnny blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something, but he continues.

    "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something."

    He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center. Little Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.

    Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets a diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

    When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.

    "Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.

    He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"