• Be an IT Professional

    Husband - Hey dear, I am logged in.
    Wife - Would you like to have some snacks?
    Husband - Hard disk full.

    Wife - Have you brought the saree.
    Husband - Bad command or file name.
    Wife - But I told you about it in morning.
    Husband - Erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

    Wife - Hey Bagwan! Forget it where's your salary.
    Husband - File in use, read only, try after some time.

    Wife - At least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
    Husband - Sharing violation, access denied.

    Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
    husband - Data type mismatch.

    Wife - You are useless.
    Husband - By default.

    Wife - By the way, who was there with you in the car this morning?
    Husband - System unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

    Wife - What is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
    Husband - The only user with write permission.

    Wife - What is my value in your life?
    Husband - Unknown virus detected.

    Wife - Do you love me or your computer?
    Husband - Too many parameters.

    Wife - I will go to my Dadu's house.
    Husband - Program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

    Wife - I will leave you forever.
    Husband - Close all programs and log out for another User.

    Wife - It is worthless talking to you.
    Husband - Shut down the computer.
    Wife - I am going.
    Husband - It's now safe to turn off your computer.
  • Keeping a Mistress!

    A Singapore millionaire secretly maintained a mistress in Hong Kong, bought a posh sea view apartment (in his own name) for her to live in, plus gave her a monthly allowance of US$5,000.

    The house cost him about US$700,000 in 2005, the affair lasted for 5 years.

    He sold the house this year for $3.8 million, after they broke up. A quick calculation shows that after 5 years of a fling with the woman, he still had a net gain of $2.8 million plus six years of FREE LOVE.

    When his wife found out about this, he offers the $2.8 million to her. But she was still not happy... and she was very mad at him and gave him a big mouthful.

    She yelled at him at the top of her voice and said, "BLOODY IDIOT, STUPID FOOL, Why the hell didn't you keep TWO MISTRESSES !!!!
  • Santa Ke Latife

    Santa Pehli Baar Train Mein Safar Kar Raha Tha. Uski Nazar Ek Signboard Pe Padti Hai Jis Pe Warning Likhi Thi:
    Bina Ticket Safar Karne Wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar!!!!!!
    Santa: Waah ji Waah... Aur Humne Ticket Li Toh Hum Bewakoof???

    Santa: Insaan Ko Zindagi Mein Koi Bhi Problem Ho Toh Kiske Paas Jaana Chahiye?
    Banta: Kisaan Ke Paas!
    Santa: Kyun?
    Banta: Kyunki Uske Paas 'HAL' Hota Hai!

    Santa Aur Jeeto Ek Shadi Jaate Hain, Wahan DJ Par Gana Baj Raha Tha: Jisko Dance Nahin Karna Vo Jaa Ke Apni Bhains Charaye.
    Sanat Jeeto Se Kehta Hai: Oye Jeeto, Chal Yaar Khaana Khaate Hain.

    School Ke Peechey Ke Talaab Mein Headmaster Ji Doob Rahe The...
    Pappu Ne Vo Nazara Dekha Aur Bhagte Hue Chillane Laga: Kal Chhutti Hai... Kal Chhutti Hai...

    Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
    Guess what did he ask next... Bhaisaab, Ismein Aur Colour Dikhaiye.
  • Microsoft vs Apple!

    Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store:
    Don't ever fart here;
    the smell will stay for ages.
    We don't have Windows.

    And a Tit for Tat from Microsoft in their premises.
    Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday's half eaten apple.
    We have been providing open window system to the world since ages.