• I can't look that old!

    Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old."
    Well..... you'll love this one.

    I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his BDS diploma on the wall , which bore his full name. suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

    Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

    After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St. Mary's high school.

    "Yes, yes, I did," he gleamed with pride.

    "When did you graduate?" I asked.

    He answered, "In 1984. Why do you ask?"

    "You were in my class!!!!" I exclaimed.

    He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, gray-haired, decrepit, son-of-a-bitch, asked, "What did you teach ???"
  • The Blue Politician

    This was an incident which happened when Dr. Kalam was President of india.

    Kalam sahab was very worried about a plague of pigeons in the Rashtrapati bhawan. He could not remove the pigeons from Rashtrapati bhawan. The whole Rashtrapati bhawan was full of pigeon poop, the people coming there could not walk on the pavements, or sit on the benches. It was costing a fortune to keep the building and pavements clean.

    One day a man came to the Rashtrapati bhawan and offered the President a proposition.

    "I can rid your beautiful Rashtrapati Bhawan of its plague of pigeons without any cost to you or government. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions. Or, you can pay me one Crore rupees to ask one question."

    The President considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition. The next day the man climbed to the terrace of Rashtrapati Bhawan, opened his suitcase, and released a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Delhi sky.

    All the pigeons in Delhi saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind the bird. The Delhi pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew eastwards out of the city.

    The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man on top of Rashtrapati Bhawan.

    The President was very impressed. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous service to rid Delhi of the plague of pigeons. Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the President presented him with a cheque for 1 Crore rupees and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the Rashtrapati Bhawan of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 Crore just to get to ask one question.

    The man accepted the money and told the President to ask his single question.

    The President asked, "Do you have a blue Politician ?"
  • Santa Aur Pappu Humour

    Santa Ke Hip Pe Chot Lag Gayi. Vo Doctor Ke Paas Jaa Kar Check Karwaata Hai.
    Doctor Kehta Hai: Santa ji Taanke Lagaane Padenge.
    Santa: Ok, Laga Do.
    Doctor: Aapka Bill Hua Rs 5000.
    Santa: Kya??? 5000???? O Doctor Saab, Aapne Taanke Hi Lagaye Hain Ya Kashmiri Kadhaai Ki Hai???

    Pappu: Dada Ji Aap Kya Kar Rahe Ho..?
    Dada ji: Kitaab Padh Raha Hoon....
    Pappu: Kaun Si Kitaab...?
    Dada ji: History Ki Kitaab...
    Pappu: Zara Dehoon Toh, ............ Arey Yeh Toh Kamasutra Ki Kitaab Hai....
    Dada ji: Haanh Bacchey.... Ab Mere Liye Yeh Sab History Hi Hua Na.......

    Shaadi Ke 2 Saal Baad Jeeto Rote-Rote Apne Maayke Jaati AHi Aur Apni Maa Se Bolti Hai: Mein Ab Santa Ke Saath Nahin Rah Sakti, Woh Toh Daarubaaz Hai, Har Waqt Nashe Mein Rehta Hai!
    Maa Ne Hairaani Se Pucha: Yeh Baat Tu Mujhe Ab Bata Rahi Hai, Shaadi Ke 2 Saal Baad???
    Jeeto: Ab Tak Mujhe Bhi Kahaan Pata Tha!!! Vo Toh Kal Jab Wo Bina Piye Ghar Aa Gaya... Tab Pata Chala!!!
  • Crossed Cheque!

    There was a good looking woman who used to come to the bank.

    All the guys working in the bank were always amazed to see her.

    All instructed the cashier to shout "Cheque Aaya Re, Cheque Aaya Re..." as soon as she enters the bank.

    This happened a couple of times. At first, the woman felt a little weird but then guessed what was going on.

    One day when she came, as usual the cashier shouted "Cheque Aaya Re...."

    The woman calmly showed her 'Mangalsutra' and shouted: "Cheque Toh Aaya Re Koi Phayda Nahin... Kyunki Ye Crossed Cheque Hai!!!"