• Peg After Peg

    I never take risk while drinking.
    When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking,
    I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen,
    I stealthily enter the house,
    Take out the bottle from my black cupboard,
    Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame,
    But still no one is aware of it,
    Becoz I never take a risk.

    I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink,
    Quickly enjoy one peg,
    Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack,
    Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard,
    Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile.

    I peep into the kitchen,
    Wife is cutting potatoes,
    No one is aware of what I did,
    Becoz I never take a risk.

    I: Any news on Iyer's daughter's marriage?
    Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are looking out for her.

    I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard,
    But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle,
    I take out the glass from the old rack above sink,
    Quickly enjoy one peg.

    Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink,
    Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard,
    But still no one is aware of what I did,
    Becoz I never take a risk.

    I: But still I think Iyer's daughter's age is not that much.
    Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse.
    I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...

    I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard,
    But the cupboard's place has automatically changed,
    I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy one peg in the sink,
    Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly.
    I keep the rack in the potatoes & wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo & keep it in the black cupboard.
    Wife is keeping the sink on the stove,
    But still no one is aware of what I did,
    Becoz I never take a risk.

    I: (getting angry) you call Mr. Iyer a horse? If you say that again, I will cut your tongue...!
    Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...

    I take out the bottle from the potatoes,
    Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg,
    Wash the sink and keep it over the rack,
    Wife is giving a smile.

    Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking,
    But still no one is aware of what I did,
    Becoz I never take a risk.

    I: (laughing) So Iyer is marrying a horse!!!
    Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...

    I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack,
    Stove is also on the rack,
    There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside.
    I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink,
    But none of the horses are aware of what I did,
    Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk.

    Iyer is still cooking,
    And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing,
    Becoz I never take what???
  • Enough is Enough

    An old lady tottered into a lawyer's office and asked for help in arranging a divorce.

    "A divorce?" asked the unbelieving lawyer. "Tell me, how old are you?"

    "I'm eighty-four," answered the old lady.

    "Eighty-four! And how old is your husband?"

    "My husband is eighty-seven."

    "My my," said the lawyer." And how long have you been married?"

    "Next September will be sixty-two years."

    "Married sixty-two years?! Why would you want a divorce now?"

    "Because," the woman answered calmly, "enough is enough!"
  • Female Hormones in Beer

    Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

    The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each.

    It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

    No further testing is planned.
  • The Truth Be Told

    A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home.

    When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home.

    He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers can not and do not lie. So, he had an idea : he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. He took the remaining one with him to see homes with the Real Estate Agent.

    He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, "How many children do you have ?"

    He answered, "12 children."

    The agent asked, "Where are the others ?"

    The lawyer answered, with a sad look, "They are in the cemetery with their mother."

    And that's the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying.

    MORAL: It is not necessary to lie, one only has to choose the right words. Lawyers don't lie... they are creative.