• Revenge is Sweet!

    Revenge is Sweet!
    This man couldn't believe what his wife wrote him in this email... This is priceless...

    Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not to bad and I really didn't get hurt, I am ok. Your Motorcycle is ok too, so please don't worry too much.

    I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

    I am really sorry but I know with your kind hearted personality you will in your heart find room to forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.

    I cannot wait to hold you in my arms and make mad passionate love to you again and again.

    Waiting for your safe return.
    Your loving wife.
    P.S Your girlfriend called. She said she missed you.
  • Baat Ek Andaaz Anek

    Ek Hi Baat Par 7 Alag Shaayaron Kaa Nazariyaa.

    Mirza Ghalib
    Sharab Peene De Ai Dost, Masjid Mein Baith Kar,
    Yaa Wo Jagah Bataa De, Jahan Khudaa Na Ho.

    Masjid Khudaa Kaa Ghar Hai, Koi Peene Ki Jagah Nahi,
    Kaafir Ke Dil Me Jaa, Wahaan Khudaa Nahi.

    Kaafir Ke Dil Se Aaya Hun Main Dekh Kar, Wahaan Jagah Nahi,
    Khudaa Maujood Hai Wahan Bhi, Magar Usko Pataa Nahi.

    Khudaa Maujood Hai Puri Duniya Mein, Kahin Bhi Jagah Nahi,
    Tu Jannat Mein Jaa, Wahan Peena Manaa Nahi.

    Peete Hai Gham E Duniya Bhulaa Ne Ke Liye, Aur Koi Baat Nahi,
    Jannat Main Kahaan Gham Hai, Wahaan Peene Ka Mazaa Nahi.

    Peete Hai Apne Maze Ke Liye, Khaamkhaan Badnaam Gham Hai,
    Poori Botal Pee Kar Dekho, Phir Duniyaa Kya Jannat Se Kam Hai.

    Duniya Jannat Ho Nahi Sakti Chahy Jitni Bhi Pee Loo,
    Jannat Waliyo Ka Innam Ha Koi Tawaiyf Ka Ghar Nahi.
  • Never Be Late!

    A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:

    I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled.

    But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that andI had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.

    Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

    "I''ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."

    Moral: Never, Never, Never Be Late!
  • Less I Drink...

    A bloke went into a pub, sat down at the bar and ordered five pots.

    The barman wondered since he was alone, but served up the five pots. And the bloke downed them all... one, two, three, four, five.

    As he finished the last one, he called to the barman and ordered four more. The barman served up four pots and the bloke downed them... one, two, three, four.

    He belched, swayed a little on his stool, but ordered three more. And again he knocked them back.... one, two, three.

    "Two potsh, mate!" he called.

    The barman served him two pots and down they went.... one, two.

    "One pot, sssir!"

    The barman served him one but the bloke just sat there, staring at it, trying to focus.

    Then he told the barman, "Y'know, it'shs... ssstrange, but the lesssh I drink, the drunker I feel!"