|A four year old little boy was at the doctor's office with his mother in the waiting room when he spotted a pregnant lady on the other side of the room.|
Having nothing better to do, he walk over to her and inquisitively asks "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he replied, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look on his face, asked yet another question, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
At this point the woman is thinking the little boy is incredibly cute and looks forward to what he has to say next...
And, much to her surprise, with an even more surprised and shocked look than before, he asks,"Then why did you eat him."
|A well-traveled man walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "For $50, you can mix any cocktail you want without my knowledge and I can tell you the ingredients!"|
The bartender takes up the challenge and mixes up an odd combination.
The man takes a sip and says, "I taste vanilla vodka, canadian whiskey, and diet coke."
The bartender is astonished, "You're right."
He makes another.
"This drink," says the man, "contains Puerto Rican rum, Tab, Dr. Pepper, and gin."
Again, the bartender is amazed at the man's ability. This goes on for a few more rounds and the bartender has lost a good bit of money. He decides to stump the man.
"If I can make a cocktail you can't identify, you have to pay back all the money I've already given you."
The man agrees and laughs.
The bartender pours a glass of tap water and gives it to the man.
"By golly, you've done it! I have no idea what this is. I can tell you one thing though: whatever it is, it won't sell!
|A man goes into a bar very thirsty. He sits down waiting for the bartender to see him.|
The man next to him calls for the bartender saying, "I'll have another waterloo."
The bartender gives him a tall ice cold drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink.
Wanting to try this new drink he says "I'll have a waterloo, too." The bartender gives him a tall ice cold drink.
He takes a big drink and says "HEY! This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!"
The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, "Well, it is water... right, Lou?
|A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer.
Then it is time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar bills to the bartender the guy throws 30 dimes behind the counter.
The bartender is pissed and is on his hands and knees collecting change as the guy leaves.
The next day the man is back and he comes in waiving a $3 dollar bill.
The bartender thinks, "Okay, business is business..." and lets him in. Again, the beer is kind of warm, but the guy doesn't say anything.
Comes time to pay, the man gives him the $5 note.
The bartender goes to the register to get the change, but instead of taking out two $1 dollar bills, he takes out 20 dimes and throws them all around the entire pub. The bartender says, "There is your f**king change!"
The man looks around and remains quite calm. He takes out 10 dimes, throws them behind the counter and says, "Gimme another beer!"