• Keeping a Mistress!

    A Singapore millionaire secretly maintained a mistress in Hong Kong, bought a posh sea view apartment (in his own name) for her to live in, plus gave her a monthly allowance of US$5,000.

    The house cost him about US$700,000 in 2005, the affair lasted for 5 years.

    He sold the house this year for $3.8 million, after they broke up. A quick calculation shows that after 5 years of a fling with the woman, he still had a net gain of $2.8 million plus six years of FREE LOVE.

    When his wife found out about this, he offers the $2.8 million to her. But she was still not happy... and she was very mad at him and gave him a big mouthful.

    She yelled at him at the top of her voice and said, "BLOODY IDIOT, STUPID FOOL, Why the hell didn't you keep TWO MISTRESSES !!!!
  • Santa Ke Latife

    Santa Pehli Baar Train Mein Safar Kar Raha Tha. Uski Nazar Ek Signboard Pe Padti Hai Jis Pe Warning Likhi Thi:
    Bina Ticket Safar Karne Wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar!!!!!!
    Santa: Waah ji Waah... Aur Humne Ticket Li Toh Hum Bewakoof???

    Santa: Insaan Ko Zindagi Mein Koi Bhi Problem Ho Toh Kiske Paas Jaana Chahiye?
    Banta: Kisaan Ke Paas!
    Santa: Kyun?
    Banta: Kyunki Uske Paas 'HAL' Hota Hai!

    Santa Aur Jeeto Ek Shadi Jaate Hain, Wahan DJ Par Gana Baj Raha Tha: Jisko Dance Nahin Karna Vo Jaa Ke Apni Bhains Charaye.
    Sanat Jeeto Se Kehta Hai: Oye Jeeto, Chal Yaar Khaana Khaate Hain.

    School Ke Peechey Ke Talaab Mein Headmaster Ji Doob Rahe The...
    Pappu Ne Vo Nazara Dekha Aur Bhagte Hue Chillane Laga: Kal Chhutti Hai... Kal Chhutti Hai...

    Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.
    Guess what did he ask next... Bhaisaab, Ismein Aur Colour Dikhaiye.
  • Microsoft vs Apple!

    Notice on entry gate of a Apple Store:
    Don't ever fart here;
    the smell will stay for ages.
    We don't have Windows.

    And a Tit for Tat from Microsoft in their premises.
    Anyone visiting us here can be free to use Windows in case you need to release stale gas from yesterday's half eaten apple.
    We have been providing open window system to the world since ages.
  • India-Pak Cricket Match

    Scene: Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs. Pakistan. Chetan is bowling and Javed is batting. Pakistan needs 24 runs in 4 balls.

    Ajit: Rabert, Jao Aur Chetan Se Kaho Ki Ek Khatarnak Bouncer Daal De Aur Javed Ko Out Kar De.

    Robert: Ok boss!

    Robert Jaata Hai Aur Ajit Ka message De Deta Hai. Chetan nods and bowls a bouncer but Javed hits it for a six!

    Ajit: Rabert, Ab Chetan Se Kehna Ek Tez Sa Yorker Daal De Aur Javed Kaa Kaam Tamam Kar De.

    Robert: Ok boss!!

    He goes again and Ajit Ka message Chetan Ko De Deta Hai. Chetan nods and bowls yorker but Javed hits it for a six again. Now there are two balls and 12 runs.

    Ajit: Rabert Ab Chetan Se Jaake Kehna Ek Khatarnak Out Swinger Daal De Aur Javed Ko Catch Out Karwa De.

    Robert: Ok boss!!!

    He goes to Chetan and tells him to bowl an Out Swinger. Chetan nods and bowls an out swinger but Javed again hits it for a six again. Now just one ball and six runs to win.

    Robert: Boss, Ab Chetan Ji Se Kya Kehna Hai?

    Ajit: Ab Chetan Se Kuch Mat Kehna. Is Baar Javed Ke Paas Jao Aur Kaho Ki Uski Maa Aur Beewi Hamare Kabje Mein Hai!