• Negotiation Tactis

    A retired older couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter.

    The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply.

    "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 asking price," said the older man.

    "Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $30,000 to the lovely young lady there."

    "And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model."

    The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water.

    "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?" Replied the grinning salesman a wee bit sheepishly...

    Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man...
    "There you go, dad" she said. "I told you, I could get that idiot to lower the price."
  • Value of Documentation

    Once a lawyer was travelling by train in A/c class. He was traveling from New Delhi to Mumbai! He was traveling alone!

    Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat down on the berth opposite to him.

    Lawyer was pleasantly Happy! The lady kept smiling at him! This made him even more Happy!

    She got up and sat next to him! Lawyer was now bubbling with Joy!

    She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear, "Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me."

    Lawyer stared blankly at her! He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote: "I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say."

    The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him! He took her note, kept it in his pocket!

    He got up and told her in clear tones... "Now shout & scream!!"

    MORAL: DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT.
  • Emergency Landing

    A young blonde pilot is beginning flying lessons and is in a two-seater airplane with just the instructor pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. The frantic young blonde pilot calls out a May Day.

    "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My instructor pilot had a heart attack and is dead, and I don't know how to fly. I'm just learning to be a pilot. Help me! Please help me!"

    She hears a voice over the radio saying, "This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Is the plane flying level? Is the instructor pilot strapped in his seat? Just give me your height and position."

    She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."

    (After a long pause)

    "O.K." says the voice on the radio... Now, repeat after me: 'Our Father Who art in Heaven'..."
  • The Future Show

    Nawaz Sharif, just finished a speech at the UN, walks out into the lobby where he meets President Obama.

    They shake hands and walk together in the long corridor when suddenly Sharif says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America."

    President Obama says, "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will."

    Sharif whispers, "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, Blacks, Chinese, Japanese and even Indians, but never any Pakistanis. So my son is very upset. He doesn't understand, nor do I, why there aren't any Pakistanis in the show."

    President Obama laughs, leans toward Sharif, and whispers in his ear, "That's because the show is all about the future!!!"
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