• Key to a Happy Marriage

    For those of us "of a certain age" and for you youngsters, well, these days will come soon enough!

    Several days ago as I left a meeting I desperately gave myself a personal search. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

    Suddenly I realised I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the car park. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen.

    As I scanned the car park I came to a terrifying conclusion! His theory was right. The car park was empty.

    I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband's mobile.

    "Hello My Love," I stammered; I always call him "My Love" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

    There was a long period of silence. I thought the call had disconnected, but then I heard his voice.

    He barked, "I dropped you off!"

    Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, please come and get me."

    He retorted, "I will, as soon as I can convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."

    This is what they call, "a senior moment."
  • Testing Sons-in-law

    An old woman had 3 daughters. One day she decided to test her three sons-in-law. One a fine day, she was walking along a lake shore with the first son-in-law.

    Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help. The first son-in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the shore.

    The next day he found a brand new E Class Mercedes in his door steps with the wording, "Thank you! Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much!!"

    Another day she went out with her second son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell in the lake and started yelling for help. The second son-in-law, too, jumped into the water and dragged her out, onto the shore.

    The next day he found a brand new E-Class Mercedes at his doorstep with the wording, "Thank you! Your Mother-in-law who loves you very much!!"

    The third time she was walking with the third son-in-law and she repeated the same. But that guy got scared and ran away without offering any help to her. The poor old lady who wanted to test her sons-in-law drowned and died.

    The next day the third son-in-law was surprised to see a new brand new Rolls-Royce waiting at his doorsteps with the following wording, "Thank you very much! Your Father-in-law!"
  • An Irishman's Philosophy

    There are only two things to worry about, Either you are well or you are sick.

    If you are sick, Then there are only two things to worry about, Either you will get well or you will die.

    If you get well, Then there are only two things to worry about, Either you will go to heaven or hell.

    If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.

    But if you go to hell, You'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends you won't have time to worry!
  • Saas-Bahu Ka Kissa

    Ek Saas Apni Bahu Se Bahut Pareshaan Thi Kyunki Vo Koi Kaam Nahin Karti Thi.

    Ek Din Tang Aakar Saas Apne Bete Se Kahti Hai Ki Kal Subah Mein Ghar Mein Jhaadu Lagungi Aur Tum Mujhe Rokna Aur Kehne Ki Lao Maa Main Kar Deta Hoon. Is Tarah Bahu Ko Kuch Toh Sharam Aayegi!!!

    Subah Jaise Hi Saas Jhaadu Lagane Lagti Hai Toh Uska Beta Aa Jaata Hai Aur Kehta Hai: Lao Maa, Main Kar Deta Hoon.

    Maa: Rehney Do Beta, Main Laga Lungi.

    Beta: Rehne Bhi Do Na Maa, Aapse Ab Kaam Nahin Ho Paata Hai, Lao Mein Laga Dunga.

    Yah Sab Sunkar Bahu Aa Jaati Hai Aur Kehti Hai: Arey Ismein Ladne Ki Kya Zaroorat hai, Ek Din Maa Lagayegi, Ek Din Tum Laga Lena... Baari Baari Se Kar Lo...
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