• Pain and Ageing

    An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn't heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can't come up with any possible explanation for the pain.

    The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, "I'm sorry but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there's nothing I can do about it."

    The old man replies with a look of disbelief, "That's impossible! That can't be!"

    The Doctor says, `What do you mean? I'm the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it's NOT old age?"

    The patient answers, "I'm no doctor but it doesn't take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you're mistaken. After all my other leg feels just fine."

    "So what?" says the doctor "What difference does that make?"

    "Well it doesn't hurt a bit, and it's the SAME AGE!"
  • Cost of Anesthesia

    Margie received a bill from the hospital for her recent surgery, and was astonished to see a $900 fee for the anesthesiologist. She called his office to demand an explanation.

    "Is this some kind of mistake?" Margie asked when she got the doctor on the phone.

    "No, not at all," the doctor said calmly.

    "Well," said Margie, "that's awfully costly for knocking someone out."

    "Not at all," replied the doctor. "I knock you out for free... The 900 dollars is for bringing you back around."
  • Jack & Jill by Shashi Tharoor

    Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance.

    The purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified.

    One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.



    -- Shashi Tharoor's version of the nursery rhyme: Jack and Jill went up the Hill ........
  • He Knows You

    A senior couple pulls up to a gas station:

    Attendant: How may I help you?

    Old Man: Please fill it up.

    Old Lady: What did he say?

    Old Man [yelling]: He asked what we wanted and I told him to fill it up.

    Attendant: So, where are you heading?

    Old Man: To Chicago to see our Grandchildren.

    Old Lady: What did he say?

    Old Man [yelling]: He asked where we're going. I told him we're going to see the Grand kids.

    Attendant: It sure is a nice day for a drive.

    Old Man: Yes, it's been quite pleasant.

    Old Lady: What did he say?

    Old Man: He said its good weather.

    Attendant: Where are you coming from?

    Old Man: We started our trip from Pittsburgh.

    Old Lady: What did he say?

    Old Man: He asked where we're from and I said Pittsburgh.

    Attendant: I dated a girl from Pittsburgh once. She talked a lot and was lousy in bed.

    Old lady: What did he say?

    Old Man: He says he knows you!