Mature Jokes

Santa comes to a doctor and, twitching his fingers and stuttering, finally manages to say, 'Doctor, I have a sexual performance problem. Can you help me?'

Santa walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches. 'Can I help you, Sir?'

One evening Santa and Banta were arguing over which of them can have sex the most times in one night. They decide to settle the issue by going to the local whorehouse and gathering experimental evidence, as it were.

Santa was making a documentary on Indian tribes. For this, he went to the deep jungles for the details. One day, Santa was walking along with two tribals in the jungle, when, all of a sudden, one of the tribal took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave.

Banta`s wife competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.

Santa from a remote rural area was transferred to a school in Ludhiana. He was couple of days late in joining his duties.

A lady was shopping in Delhi. Suddenly she realizes she is late for an appointment. She is not wearing a watch so she sees a small shop on the roadside, goes to the shop and asks in very western accent to our Santa (owner)....
What`s the time??

Santa, a Madrasi and a Gujarati were waiting for a bus when a dangerous-looking guy approached them. He suddenly pulled out a syringe with blood inside it and said in a menacing tone -

Banta comes to Australia and goes to Woolworths`s (Ubiquitious grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.

Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, `I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren`t mine.`